Parenting comes with a never-ending to-do list—but your mental health needs to stay on it.

Why It Matters

We talk a lot about kids’ well-being, but parents’ mental health is the foundation for a thriving family. When we’re overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally checked out, everything gets harder—mealtimes, routines, relationships.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which makes it the perfect time to normalize the truth: parents need support, too. Not just bubble baths or spa days, but systems, space, and sustainable strategies for feeling like ourselves again.

The Mental Load Is Crushing Us

There’s real research behind this. Moms, in particular, are often the default parent, default planner, default worrier. That invisible labor is exhausting. And when it piles up without relief, it turns into burnout, resentment, or emotional numbness.

This isn’t about blaming partners or trying to do it all better. It’s about naming what’s actually happening—so we can stop pretending it’s normal or sustainable.

MY MENTAL LOAD
Despite being a 4-hour plan ride away from home, helping a friend who had a death in the family, I still found myself thinking about the activities and school tasks that our family had the following week: "Oh man. I need to plan for field day and teacher appreciation week and I need to buy two T-shirts so the kids can tie-dye in art class, and I need to sign Eleanor up for the Econ class that she's taking this summer and I need to remember to register for soccer camp ... " I couldn't shut off this inner monologue. 

What "Taking Care of Yourself" Really Means

Let’s be clear: we’re not talking about bubble baths and lavender candles (unless that’s your thing). Real self-care is boring, consistent, and foundational.

It looks like:

• Saying “no” to one more obligation.
• Asking for help without apologizing.
• Having a therapy appointment on the calendar even when things feel “fine.”
• Getting sleep. Like, real sleep.
• Planning for your own meals instead of eating scraps off your kid’s plate.

MY VERSION OF SELF-CARE
I’ve realized that for me, self-care isn’t just about exercising: it’s about when and how I do it. I need that break between work and home, so I fit in a HIIT-style weight training session (just 30 minutes) before walking through the door at home. It’s hard enough that I can’t think about anything else - not my to-do list, not what’s waiting for me at home - just the moment I’m in. That’s my version of a spa day. Because honestly, if I were at the spa, I’d just lie there stressing about what I’m not doing.

How It Shows Up at Mealtimes

When you’re mentally tapped out, the kitchen becomes a battlefield. The food might be fine, but everything around it feels harder.

You might:

• Snap when your kid complains about what’s for dinner.
• Skip meals or snack constantly instead of eating real food.
• Dread grocery shopping or meal prep.
• Reach for takeout not out of convenience, but because you can’t think straight.

And that’s OK. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re a human who needs support.

Small Changes That Can Make a Big Difference

We can’t always overhaul our lives—but we can start small.

• Name your needs. Out loud. Even to yourself.
• Lower the bar. Your kid will survive without homemade muffins.
• Make one decision easier. Pre-plan breakfast for the week, or rotate three easy dinners.
• Create tiny recovery windows. 10 minutes with no noise counts.
• Ask for more help than feels comfortable. And then don’t micromanage how it’s done.

MY "SMALL CHANGE"
I’ve stopped telling myself I’ll get work done after dinner. With a full-time job, a family, a husband who works, and a small business, it was easy to fall into the trap of “I’ll just pick this up later.” But I rarely had the energy, and I’d end up disappointed in myself. Now, I don’t set that expectation. If I do get time later and feel like working, great—it’s a bonus. But letting go of the pressure has helped me prioritize what I value most: family time and sleep. And as an entrepreneur, that’s been a tough but necessary shift.

You’re Not Alone—and You’re Not Broken

This world wasn’t built for parents to thrive. It was built for them to manage.

But we’re allowed to want more than survival. Mental health care is health care. And caring for your own well-being - gently, intentionally, and without guilt - is one of the most powerful things you can do for your family.

It’s not selfish. It’s strategic.