Hearing from our kids about how they perceive the way we approach food and meals can provide valuable insights into the impact of our efforts. Understanding their perspective helps us strike the right balance between guiding them toward healthy choices and giving them the freedom to enjoy food in a way that feels right for them. By fostering an open dialogue, we can create a positive food environment that encourages exploration and enjoyment without pressure, setting the stage for a healthy relationship with food that lasts a lifetime.
As a mom and nutrition expert, I often talk about the importance of healthy eating, but what does that look like from my own kids' perspectives? Recently, I had a chat with my daughter to get her take on what it's like to grow up in our home where health, nutrition, and food are frequent topics of conversation. Here’s what she had to say about our family’s approach to meals, snacks, and trying new foods.
I didn't even give her a softball question to start our interview: "I feel like I have been writing about feeding kids for a long time ... and, and you are my kid and I thought it would be fun to ask you what it's like in our house. To get your perspective on things like what is it like having me as a mom. Someone who's constantly talking about food and nutrition and health. SO my first question for you - because I feel like maybe we dealt with this a little this summer - is this: Do you feel like I judge what you're eating?"
(Wham! Geez mom ... ease in, why don't you?!)
"No, not judged," she said. Instead she described feeling like she was being guided toward making healthier choices. (A nice way of saying judged, maybe?!)
She appreciated that I help her find foods that fill her up without just adding empty calories. However, she admitted that there are moments when she just wants to enjoy a bag of chips without hearing that it "doesn't have any protein and won't give her good energy."
Ok, ok. Fair point.
"What is something that you like about our meals?" I asked her.
I thought she might refer to our weekly pizza tradition, or when we get ice cream on our evening after-dinner dog walks, but her answer surprised me. One of her favorite things, was having options at every meal.
We often serve a main dish with a variety of side items; I didn't know that this was something that she liked about our dinners. "I never feel stuck with just one choice," she said.
She likes the flexibility this provides, which encourages her to try a little bit of everything. She also talked about our impromptu "clean out the fridge charcuterie board" meals where we take whatever remains edible from the fridge and create a spread of cheeses, fruits, vegetables, olives, nuts ... anything! As any reader will know, I love this approach because it cleans out our fridge, usually provides something that everyone in the family will eat, and is often the meal that has us eating the most veggies.
"I like that whenever we have a main course, there’s a bunch of side stuff… because there’s a lot of options."
One of the things that surprised me most was her appreciation that I encourage all the kids to try new foods, often more than once. "Are you sure you haven't just heard me say this over and over again?" I asked, " and that you're just saying that you like it because of that?"
"No!" she responded, and preceded to tell me about a time we tried a vegan curry meal that became a family favorite, proving that new foods can sometimes surprise us in the best way.
With no hot lunch option at her school, my daughter brings her lunch every day. I was curious what she thought about her classmates' lunches, specifically if they had foods that she wished she had in her lunchbox. "I don't really pay much attention, usually," she told me. "But when I saw {my friend} with that Ramen that I love I remembered that now that I'm a middle schooler I can use the microwaves. I also see pasta a lot and sometimes wish I had pasta." I was happy to hear that she felt she could ask for foods in her lunch - I am always inviting (and sometimes requiring!) them to help make lunches the night before, and she agreed. "Sometimes I have to remember to ask ahead of time, though, because I can't ask for pasta as you are making my lunch!"
"I saw {my friend} with my favorite Ramen that she made at school, and now that we can use microwaves in middle school I was like ... I can make ramen!"
Although she is the kid who will bake with me most often, her answer to this question was swift and definitive: "No."
"I remember this time that I really wanted to make you and dad dinner, but I couldn't find our Raddish Kids kits. I really liked those." She described how the kits and step-by-step instructions provided fun recipes and introduced her to new cooking techniques.
Clearly, these experiences have made her more confident in the kitchen built a foundation for her to enjoy food prep and cooking.
I was also curious what her answer to this question would be. I didn't imagine being a parent when I was 11, to say nothing of how I might feed my imaginary kids and how that would differ from how I was raised.
"Well, I'm defining going to ask you a lot of questions," she said. "Because you have some good recipes."
"So you think you might want all my cookbooks?" I followed.
"I don't know," she said, "I don't really see you use them that much. You have so much ... and you never see them unless you're baking."
I loved hearing this perspective, because I think that I rely on them all.the.time. So either she thinks I'm just amazing and can make up meals on the fly, orI use them when she's not around.
"Um, but yeah, I would de definitely ask you a lot of questions about how you make what you make and how you got us to eat that food. Because now I remember loving that food like avocados and, uh, quesadillas and fresh fruit. Like I feel like a lot of people in my class won't eat that stuff."
Be still my heart.
Our chat was a sweet reminder that the lessons we model about food and health go beyond the dinner table. It’s about fostering a space where kids feel seen, heard, and free to explore the wonderful world of food on their own terms.
