Picky eating isn’t just frustrating; it can impact your child’s nutrition and your family’s dynamic around the dinner table. The tension over uneaten vegetables or untouched meals can create anxiety, leaving everyone dreading mealtimes.
But addressing picky eating systematically can make all the difference. A consistent, low-pressure approach can help your child build trust, curiosity, and eventually, a willingness to try new foods. It’s about laying the groundwork for positive eating habits that last a lifetime.
There are a number of evidence-based strategies that we can turn to for guidance on how to help a picky eater. Here are five that turn up over and over again in the literature as connected to developing a lifelong positive relationship with food.
Research shows that kids may need to see a new food on average 15 times—or more—before they’ll admit to liking it and willingly eat it (without putting up such a fuss). The key is to offer the food in a variety of ways, allowing for a variety of methods of exploration (i.e. smelling, touching, etc), and without putting any pressure on your child to actually EAT IT.
For example, if broccoli is on the menu, you might steam it one day, roast it the next, or serve it raw with a favorite dip. Ask your child to pick the broccoli crown the next time you're at the grocery store, or invite them into the kitchen to toss it with oil and salt.
Even if your child doesn’t eat it, repeated exposure builds familiarity, which is the first step to acceptance.
Kids learn by watching, so model the behavior you'd like them to have. Let them see you eating a variety of foods, trying new foods and enjoying the process, or trying something new and saying "You know what ... I still don't like this food yet! I will have to try again."
Instead of urging them with phrases like “You should eat this, you'll like it,” tell them what you like about it. For example, say, “I love how crunchy these carrots are!” and let your kids see you enjoying them yourself.
By modeling curiosity and enjoyment, you take the pressure off your child while still encouraging them to explore. KEY POINT: Kids can also tell when you are not being genuine. So don't lie about how you feel. If you don't like carrots, talk about why you don't. Then let your kids see you taste them once more!
Trying new foods doesn’t have to start with actually eating them. For many kids, the first step to eating something new comes from their other senses getting involved first: touching, smelling, or even helping to prepare the food. These small interactions build comfort and curiosity.
Let them help you rinse veggies, stir soup, or arrange food on their plate. Let them simply smell the baked beans or cooked okra. Let them feel the bread dough on their hands. Give them language to understand what they are experiencing through all these sensory inputs, so they are more comfortable and confident the next time they see this food.
Giving kids a say in their meals can reduce resistance and help them feel in control (which is often the root of picky eating). If your choices are all options that you are comfortable with them making, then this strategy can also keep options healthy. Offer two or three choices you’re comfortable with, like carrots or cucumbers, let your kids decide which they want ... and then give them that option.
When kids feel they have control, they’re more likely to participate—and less likely to push back.
Progress isn’t always immediate, but trust that it is happening. A mealtime win doesn't have to be "they ate the whole pile of peas!" Did she let the veggie be on her plate today? Was he willing to smell it tonight? Did they take the tiniest taste? Celebrate those small wins!
And don't forget to think about other mealtime wins that have noting to do with eating. Did she clear her plate without being asked? Did they stay at the table for a minute longer than last night or did he offer more than a one word answer to your question? These are all wins that are worth identifying and celebrating (even if its just in your head).
Here's another idea: For older kids, acknowledging their effort with a simple “Thanks for giving that a try” can reinforce positive behavior without adding pressure, demonstrating that you see they are making an effort and it is appreciated.
To make these strategies even more effective, use the C.H.A.T.T. framework to guide your food and mealtime engagement each day. Each of these letters can help you systematically practice the evidence based strategies above.
Let's look at each one.
Offer limited options (that are ok with you) to give your child a sense of control. This autonomy and choice is a critical way in which you can avoid mealtime battles - which are often battles for control. For example: “Would you like strawberries or blueberries with your yogurt?”
Set regular mealtimes and routines. Kids thrive on predictability, and consistent habits make mealtimes feel safe and expected. This also means that kids don't have to worry when they will have an opportunity to eat again (whether or not you - or they! - know this is a concern, for some kids it is.) This also frees them up to explore new and unfamiliar foods, because they know that even if they don't love everything at this meal, they can feel confident when food will be available again.
Keep healthy foods visible and available. A bowl of fresh fruit on the counter or cut-up veggies in the fridge can make trying something new a more natural and obvious choice. Remember, it's your job to decide what foods come into your house and your child's job to decide what and how much of those foods they want to eat. So help them become healthier eaters by providing healthier choices.
Encourage small, no-pressure tastes. Even licking a new food is progress! Use language like “You don’t have to eat it, but would you like to give it a tiny taste?” Having a literal taste test can be a useful way to give your kids practice with the act of tasting new foods, and starting with foods they are comfortable with can help make this even easier.
In our house, we've gone so far as to have taste tests with chocolate chips and cookies. Tasting under these conditions makes it less scary for them when we taste foods that aren't their favorites.
How you use language around food - and the language that you empower your kids with to describe their experiences with food - can have a powerful effect on how your kids experience mealtime. Using positive, descriptive terms helps to spark curiosity, builds connections between new and familiar foods/flavors/textures, and helps your kids make sense of their sensory experiences. There are all critical tools they will use to become more confident at mealtime - and beyond.
Helping picky eaters doesn’t have to be a source of stress. By combining evidence-based strategies with the C.H.A.T.T. framework, you’re helping to create an environment where your child can explore and enjoy food at their own pace.
Remember It’s not about immediate results—it’s about steady progress. Celebrate the small wins, stay consistent, and trust that you’re helping your child build a lifelong positive relationship with food.
