Stop Making a Second Dinner – Here's Why

Making one family meal should be the standard, not the exception.

Why It Matters

Refusing to prepare a second meal isn’t about being unkind—it’s about teaching your kids autonomy over their food choices while helping them develop a healthy relationship with meals that aren't tailored to their every whim.

Let's Get Real

Making one meal for the family should be the standard, not the exception. When you start catering to every food preference your kids express, it reinforces picky eating and places you in a cycle of constant demands. There’s a solution: stop making second dinners. Here’s why, and how, to create a balanced approach that respects your kids' preferences without feeding into picky eating.

Embrace the Division of Responsibility

The Satter Division of Responsibility (DOR) framework is a guiding approach that encourages healthy, competent eating habits. By following DOR, parents set the foundation for lifelong positive eating patterns. This approach outlines clear roles: parents decide the what, when, and where of meals and snacks, while children determine how much and whether they eat from what is provided.

The Division of Responsibility grows with your child, from infancy through adolescence:

Infancy: When feeding your infant, you decide whether they are breast- or formula-fed. Your child is responsible for everything else, including how much, how fast, and how frequently they eat.

Solid Food Introduction: As your baby begins transitioning to solids, your role includes offering nutritious options suited to their developmental readiness. They still control how much they eat, and whether they want to try the new foods you introduce.

Toddlers through Adolescents: As children grow, your role is to provide structure—determining what food is served, when, and where it is offered. Your child continues to be responsible for how much they consume and whether they eat what is served.

The DOR framework also alleviates some common feeding stresses for parents. Knowing that you’ve provided nutritious options without having to coax or cater enables a more positive, less stressful atmosphere at mealtimes.

Benefits for Kids and Parents

  1. Fosters Trust: Kids learn that you trust them to decide what and how much they eat, empowering them to listen to their bodies.
  2. Builds Self-Understanding: Children become confident in knowing what feels right for their bodies and knowing when they are hungry and when they aren't.
  3. Promotes Independence: The ability to make food choices helps kids develop autonomy that supports long-term healthy eating.

Considerate, Not Catering: Strategies for Balance

While creating a single meal might sound rigid, there are ways to consider your kids’ needs without giving in to their every request. Here’s how:

1. Include a "Safe" Food

At every meal, provide at least one "safe" food—something familiar that your child will likely eat. This doesn't have to be their favorite food (I am not giving you permission to serve chicken nuggets at every meal), but it should be one that they have seen before and will eat willingly. Having "safe" foods available - rather than only offering new foods - ensures that your kids feel comfortable coming to the table (literally and figuratively) and they will be more open to trying new foods without the fear of going hungry.

"Safe" foods will vary by family (and maybe even by child, which can make things difficult). If safe foods don't make for easy meal planning, rather than build an entire meal around that one food simply serve it as a side.

2. Offer a Consistent Alternative

Establish one backup option if they don’t want what’s served, but avoid making it something highly preferred. For instance, one parent offered cottage cheese as an alternative—not a favorite, but available. This sets boundaries and provides a choice without creating the expectation of a customized menu.

Again, what this consistent alternative is will vary by family. For one of my colleagues it was cottage cheese. In our house, it's a PB&J or grilled cheese. Here's the caveat: our kids (now 11, 13, and 15) have to make it themselves. I've already made one dinner, I'm not making a second.

3. Involve Them in Meal Planning

Get your kid's (or kids') input on meal ideas. This inclusion teaches them to respect what’s served and feel invested in family meals. Ask for their opinion about meal ideas, encourage them to come shopping, look through recipes together. Engaging them in this way - and following through with their suggestions - shows them that you value their opinion. What's even better is if they plan for things that you don't particularly love. This gives you a chance to model how to appreciate foods outside of personal preferences. (Don't forget to ask for their opinion on these meals too, not just the ones you choose and make!)

4. Invite Them into Meal Prep  

When possible, include your kids in meal preparation. When they’re part of the cooking process, they’re often more willing to taste what they’ve helped create, fostering curiosity and willingness to explore different foods.

What does this look like? So many options!

When kids are young, they can wash vegetables or spin lettuce or help stirring ingredients (especially those that aren't over a hot stove). Older kids can get involved in chopping, measuring, and assembling - or simply reading instructions to you! All of these actions help your kids gain a sense of ownership and pride in the meal, which also has the added bonus of making them more likely to eat it.

5. Deconstruct Complex Meals 

Serving meals in customizable parts allows each family member to build a plate that suits them. For example, taco night can involve individual ingredients laid out for easy assembly, allowing kids to pick their favorites within the framework of one meal.

6. Create Customizable Meals

Meals like grain bowls allow each person to customize while keeping everyone at the same table. Offer a variety of roasted vegetables, proteins, grains, and garnishes so kids can explore new flavors while having some control over their choices.

Pasta dishes, build your own salads (even dessert bars!) are easy ways to provide a mix of textures and flavors. These also provide ways to introduce a mix of familiar and new foods in a safe environment.

Set Boundaries, Not Demands

Establishing these routines doesn’t mean endless battles or strict food rules. It’s about creating a mealtime environment where your children feel comfortable and know they’re heard without being catered to. Through thoughtful approaches, you set the stage for a healthier, more balanced relationship with food that won’t have you scrambling to prepare two dinners.

Hungry for more?

Here I talk about how to help your kids practice tasting new foods and here are some simple tips to increase diversity in your family's diet.

What are your strategies? I’d love to hear how you navigate being considerate without catering at mealtime. Share your insights below!

15 Must-Have Picture Books for Kids

In our house, children’s picture books are more than just stories—they're tools for learning, building connection, and sparking meaningful conversations. Here are a few of our family's all-time favorites.


Our Favorite Children’s Picture Books: A Family Round-Up

When it comes to children’s books, we can’t get enough! Picture books were a big part of our family’s daily routine when the kids were younger and we still have shelves of them prominently displayed in the living room. I just can't bear to part with them. Below, we’re sharing some of our absolute favorites. Some are classics, some are newer, but all of them hold a special place in our hearts.

Here’s a look at a few books that we love—and why we think they deserve a spot on your shelf too!

1. The Mousery

This delightful story teaches a beautiful lesson about inclusivity and caring for others, which is something our family values. The rhyming and illustrations are also top-notch, making it a joy to read aloud again and again.

2. Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site

This one has been a bedtime favorite for years! We read this to Oliver "a bazillion times" when he was little, and it never got old. It’s perfect for winding down after a busy day, and the illustrations of the construction site at rest are captivating.

3. William and the Missing Masterpiece

William, the international cat of mystery, is called to a case in Paris, to help solve the case of the missing art masterpiece, the "Mona Cheesa." (Mona Lisa ... Mona Cheesa ...get it?!) It’s a fun and imaginative read with beautiful illustrations.

4. Squids Will Be Squids

This clever take on Aesop’s Fables is packed with quirky stories and moral lessons. One of our favorites, "Straw and Matches," is a super clever take on the old lesson "don't play with matches". (Spoiler alert ... matches isn't really what (or who!) you think.) The humor and wit in this book make it a standout, though it can be a bit tricky to find!

5. Nannette’s Baguette

We love Mo Willems’ books, and this one is no exception. The rhyming is playful, the illustrations are fun, and it’s a perfect story about a little girl and her love for freshly baked baguettes. As some who loves food books generally - and freshly baked French breads, specifically - I can totally relate! It’s one of Alice’s birthday gifts, and it’s been a staple ever since.

6. A Pocket for Corduroy

There’s something so endearing about this story of a little bear who just wants a pocket. It’s one of those sweet, timeless stories that kids (and parents) love revisiting.

7. Olivia and the Fairy Princesses

Olivia’s frustration with everyone wanting to be a princess is so relatable! She’s a fierce, independent pig who doesn’t want to follow the crowd—and we love her for it. Her realization that she wants to be a queen instead of a princess is both funny and empowering.

Aaron Slater illustrator book cover

8. Aaron Slater, Illustrator

Part of a fantastic series by Andrea Beaty and David Roberts, this book is one of many we adore. Along with Rosie Revere, Engineer, Ada Twist, Scientist, Iggy Peck, Architect, and Sophia Valdez, Future Prez this series celebrates kids finding their unique talents and learning to believe in themselves. The clever text, illustrations, and themes of self-discovery are always a hit in our house. (Personal Note: Aaron Slater has added themes about learning differences, including dyslexia, and is written in a specific font.)

9. Mama, Is It Summer Yet?

This beautifully illustrated book - created using woodcuttings - is all about the (sometimes impatient) transition from spring to summer. It’s a wonderful way to explore the changing seasons through a child’s eyes.

10. Someday

This was a favorite of mine growing up, and Alice has loved it too. The imagination in this book—from visiting the White House to counting penguins—is captivating, and the illustrations are dreamy and full of adventure.

11. Fancy Nancy

If you’ve ever known a child who loves to accessorize, this book will hit home. Fancy Nancy’s adventures and her creative flair for fashion always make for a fun read.

12. Miss Rumphius

This story is incredibly special to our family. Barbara Cooney’s Miss Rumphius is about a woman who - after traveling the world and coming home to live by the sea - struggles to figure out how she can make the world a more beautiful place. As someone who grew up in Maine, and loved sitting in my grandmother's flower garden, this book speaks to me.

13. The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

Books that celebrate the love of reading are always a win in our house. This whimsical tale about a young man who cares for magical books is a beautiful story of adventure, imagination, and the joy of sharing stories - everyone's stories - with others.

14. The Little Yellow Leaf

This is a lovely story about friendship and finding courage even when you think you have none. I read this story over and over (and over and over) again the year we lived in Tanzania when Eleanor was 1 - the message was more important for me to hear then it was Eleanor! The collage illustrations are also a favorite of mine.

15. Richard Scarry’s Books

Last but not least, I have to mention one of my childhood favorites, Richard Scarry. I loved the detailed illustrations of everyday animals doing everyday things. And of course, looking for Lowly Worm!


What Are Your Favorites?

There you have it ... a list of 15 of (some of!) our family’s most beloved picture books.

But we’d love to hear from you! What books do your kids love to read? What do you love reading to them? Share your recommendations in the comments below—we’re always on the lookout for new favorites (and ones we can give as gifts)!

Can Processed Meals be Healthy?

Processed foods have a bad reputation, but is it possible to include them in a healthy diet?

Why It Matters

Families today face a tough challenge: balancing rising food costs with the desire to feed their kids a healthy diet. Many believe that avoiding processed foods is the key to better health, but the reality is more complex. It’s time to look beyond labels like "processed" and focus on what truly contributes to a nutritious diet.

Understanding Processed Foods

When we hear "processed foods," most of us think of unhealthy options. But what does processed really mean?

Can you say more?

Not all processing is harmful—in fact, it can make certain foods safer and more nutritious.

It’s important to remember that processing isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s about how the food fits into your overall diet.

Focus on Context

A granola bar, for example, might be ultra-processed, but if it’s paired with fresh fruit or a glass of milk, it can still contribute to a balanced meal. What matters most is the mix of nutrient-dense foods throughout the day, rather than avoiding all processed foods altogether.

The Real Cost of 'Less Processed'

One study sought to answer whether a diet made up of less processed foods is healthier.

And with a shorter shelf life, it was less practical for busy families.

For many families, access to fresh, less-processed foods can be a challenge due to availability or cost. This makes it even more important to focus on what is feasible and practical.

Instead of striving for a perfectly "unprocessed" diet, families can work toward making the healthiest choices within their means. Prioritizing nutrient density over processing levels ensures that your family is getting what it needs without breaking the bank.

Consider Time as a "Cost"

Time is one of the most precious resources for busy families, and sometimes, the convenience of processed foods can be a lifesaver. Pre-cut veggies or canned beans may cost a bit more than their unprocessed counterparts, but they can make it easier to prepare a balanced meal quickly. These time-saving options can help families eat better even when life gets hectic, making them a valuable part of a healthy eating strategy.

Healthfulness Beyond Processing

Diet quality isn't solely determined by how processed a food is. In fact, research has shown that you can build a menu with over 80% of calories from ultra-processed foods and still achieve a high HEI score, which is linked to better health outcomes.

The takeaway? A food’s processing level isn’t everything—it’s the overall balance, variety, and nutrient content of your diet that counts.

Single foods don’t determine the healthfulness of a diet—it’s the overall dietary pattern that matters. A diet rich in a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, proteins, and healthy fats will support good health, even if some processed foods are included.

Rather than focusing solely on cutting out processed foods, aim for a balance that includes plenty of nutrient-dense options while still leaving room for the occasional convenience item.

REMEMBER: Not all processed foods are created equal. In fact, some can be highly nutritious.

The Role of Variety and Moderation

After 20 years in nutrition, one key lesson stands out: moderation and variety are essential. These principles, alongside regular movement, are more critical than rigidly avoiding processed foods. It’s about creating a sustainable approach to eating that works for you and your family.

Being overly restrictive with food choices can lead to stress and anxiety around eating, especially for kids. Teaching moderation allows families to enjoy occasional treats without feeling guilty, which is key to fostering a positive relationship with food. When children see that all foods can have a place in their diet, they learn to enjoy eating without developing an unhealthy fixation on avoiding certain foods.

Practical Tip on Moderation:

One easy way to think about moderation is the "80/20 rule"—aim for about 80% of your diet to come from whole, nutrient-dense foods, and leave 20% for more indulgent options. This simple guideline can help families enjoy their favorite treats in a way that feels balanced and sustainable.

Practical Tips for Families

Here are a few tips for balancing processed foods in your family’s diet without breaking the bank:

In addition ...

Plan for 'Just in Case' Foods

Keep some shelf-stable, minimally processed options on hand for those days when time is short, like canned soups or whole grain pasta with jarred tomato sauce. Adding a few fresh or frozen veggies can easily boost their nutrition, making these options a practical fallback that won’t compromise your family’s diet quality.

Batch Cooking with a Mix

When you have the time, consider batch-cooking meals that mix whole, less processed ingredients with convenient, processed options. For example, you can cook a big pot of whole grains or beans and pair them with a store-bought sauce for easy, nutritious meals throughout the week. This way, you save time while still maintaining balance and variety in your family’s diet.

For more tips and a full week's menu for a family of four under $150, click here.

10 Proven Ways to Tackle Picky Eating

https://youtu.be/_1R4mpDtOPg

Picky eating isn’t a permanent label—it's a behavior that can change over time with the right strategies and patience.

Why It Matters:

Picky eating can be incredibly frustrating for parents, but understanding that it’s a behavior that can evolve brings relief. By applying thoughtful strategies, you can help your child develop a lifelong, healthy relationship with food, which sets them up for success in all aspects of well-being.

Here are 10 Strategies you can try today. (Pssst: You don't even need to have a picky eater!)

1. Name It

Give your child language to describe the foods they eat. Help them identify flavors, textures, and temperatures, and encourage them to express what they like and dislike about certain foods. Set clear expectations around what they might experience with new foods.

Why it helps:
Imagine being handed a dish you've never seen before and being told it's good for you—would you immediately want to try it? Probably not. Similarly, children are more hesitant to try new foods when they don't know what to expect. By helping them articulate specific characteristics like "it's too mushy" or "too spicy," you're giving them control over the experience and building their confidence to try new things.

2. Start Small

When introducing a new food, avoid overwhelming your child by serving an entire dish of it. Instead, offer a tiny portion—just a small floret of broccoli, for example, next to their favorite pasta.

Why it helps:
Children can feel pressure when faced with a large serving of unfamiliar food, leading to outright rejection. By starting with small amounts, you give them the freedom to explore without the expectation of finishing a full portion. The next time you offer the food, they'll likely feel less resistant.

3. Give New Foods a Special Space

Use a separate plate or designated space for new or unfamiliar foods. You could try a “no thank you” plate or a specific spot on their regular plate for tasting new foods. Specialized dishes like Kizingo plates work well for this.

Why it helps:
Putting new foods in a separate space reduces their "scary power." When children see that the new food isn't touching their other favorites, they feel more comfortable and less likely to reject the entire meal. It also helps them approach the new food as something they’re learning about, rather than something they must eat immediately.

4. Set a good Example

If you don’t like a particular food, try to serve and taste it in front of your children anyway. Even if you're not a fan of mushrooms, for instance, be willing to model positive food exploration for your kids.

Why it helps:
Children learn from observing us. Studies show that the most effective way to promote healthier eating habits in children is to let them see you practice those habits. If you want them to try a new food, join them in tasting it—even if you don’t love it. Your reaction and openness can encourage them to do the same.

5. Involve Your Kids in Meal Prep

Bring your kids into the kitchen when preparing meals, especially when the pressure is low. Whether it's helping pick out ingredients at the grocery store or stirring a pot at home, the act of engaging in the food preparation process can make them more open to trying new foods.

Why it helps:
Children who are involved in food preparation—washing veggies, measuring ingredients, or even growing produce—are more likely to taste new foods and adopt healthier eating habits over time. Research shows that when kids take part in making their meals, they’re naturally more curious and adventurous about tasting them.

6. Practice the Division of Responsibility

Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility model suggests that parents decide what is offered, where, and when, while the child decides how much to eat. This approach empowers children to listen to their own hunger and fullness cues.

Why it helps:
Repeated exposure to the same foods—offered in a low-pressure setting—helps children become more familiar with them over time. This familiarity often leads to acceptance, even after initial refusal. Additionally, letting children control how much they eat. 

7. Pay Attention to Texture and Color

Instead of focusing solely on the specific food your child doesn’t like, look at broader patterns—like the textures, flavors, or colors—they consistently avoid. (and the ones they are consistently drawn to.) Adjust how you present food to match these preferences while gently nudging them toward new experiences. (Google: food chaining for more info.)

Why it helps:
For many children, raw vegetables are more appealing than cooked ones, or crunchy textures may be preferred over soft. By understanding these preferences, you can offer foods in forms they are more likely to enjoy, such as raw carrots instead of steamed, or lightly frozen peas instead of cooked. Over time, they’ll become more confident in trying new preparations.

8. Make Only One Meal

Avoid the temptation to make a second, separate meal if your child refuses the one you’ve prepared. Let them know that the current meal is their option, and no alternatives are coming.

Why it helps:
Making a separate meal can reinforce picky eating by giving your child an out. By sticking to one meal and reassuring them that they won’t go hungry, you’re helping them build trust and encouraging them to eventually try new foods. They’ll learn that mealtime is a family experience, and participation is important even if they aren’t eating much.

9. Create a Routine

Serve meals and snacks at about the same times each day. Consistent meal schedules provide a sense of security and predictability for children, which can reduce mealtime resistance.

Why it helps:
Children thrive on routines, and knowing that food will be available at regular times reduces their anxiety. This consistency helps them learn to trust that food will always be there, making them more likely to try new things. Regular schedules also teach them to recognize their body’s hunger and fullness cues.

10. Be Patient

Patience is the most crucial strategy of all. Building a positive relationship with food takes time, often requiring multiple exposures—sometimes more than 15—before a child will willingly try something new.

Why it helps:
Your child might need to touch, smell, or play with a food many times before they actually eat it. The key is to keep offering it in a low-pressure environment. Repeated exposure increases familiarity and comfort, eventually leading to acceptance. Remember, this process takes time—so be patient, and trust that it will pay off in the long run.

Why I’m Opposed to Post-Game Snacks for Everyone

As a parent, I'm all for celebrating our kids' achievements and providing some post-game rehydration and energy. But when did post-game snacks become an all-inclusive event? When did feeding every child on the sidelines become part of the deal?

Why It Matters

This isn't just about snacks; it's about the messages we send to our kids. Are we teaching them that rewards come without effort? That simply being present entitles them to the same treatment as those who actively participate? Small habits build up over time, and this trend could shape our kids' expectations in ways we don't intend.

The Snack Expectation Dilemma

The Situation: After a little encouragement, my 12-year-old started playing rec soccer (which I am grateful he has the opportunity to do). His default is to hang out indoors, and I love that rec sports give him a low-pressure way to stay active, bond with his friends/team, and build teamwork skills. After this weekend's recent game in 84-degree weather, the kids were spent, sweaty, and ready for a post-game snack.

But here's where things get complicated.

The Problem: As has become the norm, not only are parents expected to sign-up to provide enough snacks for the entire team (in this case 18 kids!), but also for any siblings who show up. I

And, honestly, this feels like the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality creeping into snack time.

What are we teaching our kids when we hand out snacks to those who didn't play? It’s one thing to support the team, but it’s another to send the message that just showing up entitles you to the same reward as those who participated.

Everyone Gets a Snack: Is It Fair?

Is This Reasonable? I get it—no one wants to deny a little kid a snack. But the expectation that every sibling gets fed is, in my opinion, a step too far. And not just because it raises the question: are we teaching our children that they deserve something for nothing?

The Cost of Inclusion: Beyond the message we are sending our kids about entitlement, feeding 18 kids and their siblings adds up. It cost us almost $50 this weekend for snacks and drinks. While I’m fortunate to be able to handle this expense, not every family can. What about those who can't afford to provide snacks for everyone? The expectation that everyone who shows up - to play or cheer - gets a snack creates inequity for our families.

The expectation that everyone who shows up - to play or cheer - gets a snack creates inequity for our families.

Teaching Effort vs. Entitlement

Snacks are a nice way to celebrate the effort the kids put into the game - a moment of camaraderie, and a small reward for the sweat and energy they’ve just poured onto the field. But what are we telling them when we give snacks to everyone, including those who didn't play? Are we blurring the line between rewarding participation and promoting entitlement?

I Think About it This Way: Offering the same reward to everyone, regardless of effort or involvement, dilutes the value of that reward. We often hear about the importance of teaching kids the value of hard work and perseverance. Yet, if they see that the same reward is given to everyone, regardless of effort, it can undermine these lessons.

What happens when this mentality, that simply being present is enough to earn a reward, extends beyond the field or court?

What Happens When the Stakes Are Higher?

Consider what happens when they start to believe that showing up is enough to earn recognition or reward. They might begin to expect praise for minimal effort or assume they’re entitled to the same outcomes as others who put in more work. This can lead to frustration, confusion, and even resentment as they grow older and face situations where effort and results aren’t equal.

Does a post-game snack have to become a lesson about effort, reward, fairness? No. It's very possible I am blowing this way out of proportion.

However, I do believe that all of these little messages add up and these small, repeated actions contribute to shaping our children's expectations and sense of entitlement.

It's Our Job: It's our job as adults to help our kids understand that rewards are tied to actions. It's our job to prepare them for a world where effort is recognized and appreciated, and entitlement doesn’t guarantee success. By setting clear boundaries and expectations now, we’re helping them build a healthy relationship with effort and reward that will serve them well throughout their lives.

What’s the Solution?

Navigating this situation isn't just about finding a simple fix, unfortunately, and I wish I had taken some time to consider my options for how to handle. Here's what I've come up with for next time.

Have Difficult Conversations: Talking to other parents about expectations and food values can be challenging, especially when it feels like you’re going against the grain. But these discussions are important. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of providing snacks for everyone, it’s okay to voice that concern. By having these conversations, we’re not only advocating for our own boundaries but also making it easier for others who might feel the same but are hesitant to speak up.

Consider Your Commitments: Before volunteering, it’s worth taking a moment to consider what you're committing to. Are you comfortable with the potential cost and expectation? Are you okay with what this means for you and your family? Did the organizer clearly state “Please bring enough for players and siblings” and you just read the sign-up too quickly and didn’t see the specification? Being mindful of these decisions helps avoid resentment and makes it easier to say no if it doesn’t feel right. It’s not about shirking responsibility but about ensuring that our contributions reflect our values and capabilities.

Set Boundaries: It’s also crucial to set personal boundaries. I agreed to bring snacks, I should have been super clear about what was expected and what I was willing and able to provide. It’s okay to say, “I’m happy to bring snacks for the players, but I won’t be able to cover siblings as well.” Setting this expectation from the beginning can prevent misunderstandings and ensure that we’re contributing in a way that aligns with our values.

Redefine Support: Consider this: maybe you don’t sign up for snacks. Maybe you find another way to support the team that doesn’t add burden or resentment. Whatever it is, it should be something that feels good and is sustainable, not just something you feel pressured to do.

Having these conversations and setting these boundaries isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for creating a healthy, respectful environment for ourselves and our kids. It’s about more than just snacks; it’s about teaching our children—and reminding ourselves—that it’s okay to set limits and that we don’t have to do it all to be good parents and community members.

Questions to Consider

Final Thoughts

I signed up for snack duty - without the careful thought I should have given it - and I fulfilled my commitment. But next time, I plan to be a little more thoughtful about how I approach this request and hope that I can walk away feeling less resentment and setting a better example for my kids.

Click to watch the full video.

Self-Feeding: The Key to Healthy Eating

Many parents worry about how much their children eat, often stepping in to control mealtime. But what if the key to healthier eating habits is letting go and letting kids take the reins?

WHY IT MATTERS: Developing a healthy relationship with food starts in childhood. When kids are allowed to listen to their own hunger and fullness cues, they are more likely to maintain these instincts throughout their lives, avoiding overeating and fostering a positive connection with food.

Kids' Are Born With It

From birth, children are naturally attuned to their hunger and fullness signals. A study has shown that infants, when allowed to feed themselves, consume precisely the amount they need for their basal metabolic rate — the energy required for basic bodily functions. This highlights their innate ability to self-regulate food intake without external prompts.

The Challenges of Letting Kids Feed Themselves

As parents, we often worry about our children's nutrition — whether they are eating enough, too much, or getting the right balance of foods. These concerns, coupled with advice from family, friends, and healthcare providers, can lead us to take control of their feeding, often resulting in overfeeding.

Moreover, when kids start eating solid foods, the process can be messy and time-consuming. Their motor skills are still developing, making self-feeding a challenge. As a result, parents frequently step in to make meals quicker and cleaner, but this well-intentioned action can disrupt children's ability to listen to their hunger and fullness cues.

Encouraging Independence at Mealtime

To help children maintain their natural eating instincts, it's crucial to allow them to have control over their feeding. The more they can feed themselves, the better they will learn to respond to their body's signals. This independence can reduce the likelihood of overeating and encourage a healthier relationship with food.

baby at high chair with spoon

Kids who can feed themselves are less likely to overeat and less likely to become picky eaters.

Tips for Supporting Self-Feeding

Building Confidence Through Self-Feeding

The design of Kizingo spoons, for instance, supports children’s natural grip and movement patterns, making it easier for them to get food into their mouths successfully. While these tools can help, they're not the only option. Pre-spoons or even letting kids use their hands are excellent alternatives.

You don't need "fancy" tools - or any tools at all - for your kids to benefit from being allowed to feed themselves.

The goal is to create a mealtime environment where children can confidently feed themselves, reinforcing their ability to listen to their own bodies. By allowing them to practice these skills, parents can foster a foundation for lifelong healthy eating habits.

Final Thoughts

Letting kids feed themselves might feel daunting due to the mess and potential for waste. However, by doing so, you're empowering them to maintain their internal cues of hunger and fullness, which is essential for developing a positive relationship with food.

Create the conditions that work best in your home to support this independence, and remember, it’s okay to let go a little for the sake of their long-term health.

What It's Really Like to Have a Nutritionist Mom

Ever wonder what it’s like for a kid to grow up with a nutrition expert for a mom? I asked my 11-year-old daughter to share her thoughts on our family’s food habits. Some of her answers surprised me.

WHY IT MATTERS


Hearing from our kids about how they perceive the way we approach food and meals can provide valuable insights into the impact of our efforts. Understanding their perspective helps us strike the right balance between guiding them toward healthy choices and giving them the freedom to enjoy food in a way that feels right for them. By fostering an open dialogue, we can create a positive food environment that encourages exploration and enjoyment without pressure, setting the stage for a healthy relationship with food that lasts a lifetime.

INTRODUCTION

As a mom and nutrition expert, I often talk about the importance of healthy eating, but what does that look like from my own kids' perspectives? Recently, I had a chat with my daughter to get her take on what it's like to grow up in our home where health, nutrition, and food are frequent topics of conversation. Here’s what she had to say about our family’s approach to meals, snacks, and trying new foods.

Do I Judge What You Eat?

I didn't even give her a softball question to start our interview: "I feel like I have been writing about feeding kids for a long time ... and, and you are my kid and I thought it would be fun to ask you what it's like in our house. To get your perspective on things like what is it like having me as a mom. Someone who's constantly talking about food and nutrition and health. SO my first question for you - because I feel like maybe we dealt with this a little this summer - is this: Do you feel like I judge what you're eating?"

(Wham! Geez mom ... ease in, why don't you?!)

"No, not judged," she said. Instead she described feeling like she was being guided toward making healthier choices. (A nice way of saying judged, maybe?!)

She appreciated that I help her find foods that fill her up without just adding empty calories. However, she admitted that there are moments when she just wants to enjoy a bag of chips without hearing that it "doesn't have any protein and won't give her good energy."

Ok, ok. Fair point.

What Do You Like About Our Meals?

"What is something that you like about our meals?" I asked her.

I thought she might refer to our weekly pizza tradition, or when we get ice cream on our evening after-dinner dog walks, but her answer surprised me. One of her favorite things, was having options at every meal.

We often serve a main dish with a variety of side items; I didn't know that this was something that she liked about our dinners. "I never feel stuck with just one choice," she said.

She likes the flexibility this provides, which encourages her to try a little bit of everything. She also talked about our impromptu "clean out the fridge charcuterie board" meals where we take whatever remains edible from the fridge and create a spread of cheeses, fruits, vegetables, olives, nuts ... anything! As any reader will know, I love this approach because it cleans out our fridge, usually provides something that everyone in the family will eat, and is often the meal that has us eating the most veggies.

"I like that whenever we have a main course, there’s a bunch of side stuff… because there’s a lot of options."

What About Trying New Foods?

One of the things that surprised me most was her appreciation that I encourage all the kids to try new foods, often more than once. "Are you sure you haven't just heard me say this over and over again?" I asked, " and that you're just saying that you like it because of that?"

"No!" she responded, and preceded to tell me about a time we tried a vegan curry meal that became a family favorite, proving that new foods can sometimes surprise us in the best way.

Do You See School Lunches You Want?

With no hot lunch option at her school, my daughter brings her lunch every day. I was curious what she thought about her classmates' lunches, specifically if they had foods that she wished she had in her lunchbox. "I don't really pay much attention, usually," she told me. "But when I saw {my friend} with that Ramen that I love I remembered that now that I'm a middle schooler I can use the microwaves. I also see pasta a lot and sometimes wish I had pasta." I was happy to hear that she felt she could ask for foods in her lunch - I am always inviting (and sometimes requiring!) them to help make lunches the night before, and she agreed. "Sometimes I have to remember to ask ahead of time, though, because I can't ask for pasta as you are making my lunch!"

"I saw {my friend} with my favorite Ramen that she made at school, and now that we can use microwaves in middle school I was like ... I can make ramen!"

Do You Get to Cook as Often as You Want?

Although she is the kid who will bake with me most often, her answer to this question was swift and definitive: "No."

"I remember this time that I really wanted to make you and dad dinner, but I couldn't find our Raddish Kids kits. I really liked those." She described how the kits and step-by-step instructions provided fun recipes and introduced her to new cooking techniques.

Clearly, these experiences have made her more confident in the kitchen built a foundation for her to enjoy food prep and cooking.

Do You Think You Might Do Things Differently with Your Kids?

I was also curious what her answer to this question would be. I didn't imagine being a parent when I was 11, to say nothing of how I might feed my imaginary kids and how that would differ from how I was raised.

"Well, I'm defining going to ask you a lot of questions," she said. "Because you have some good recipes."

"So you think you might want all my cookbooks?" I followed.

"I don't know," she said, "I don't really see you use them that much. You have so much ... and you never see them unless you're baking."

I loved hearing this perspective, because I think that I rely on them all.the.time. So either she thinks I'm just amazing and can make up meals on the fly, orI use them when she's not around.

"Um, but yeah, I would de definitely ask you a lot of questions about how you make what you make and how you got us to eat that food. Because now I remember loving that food like avocados and, uh, quesadillas and fresh fruit. Like I feel like a lot of people in my class won't eat that stuff."

Be still my heart.

Conclusion

Our chat was a sweet reminder that the lessons we model about food and health go beyond the dinner table. It’s about fostering a space where kids feel seen, heard, and free to explore the wonderful world of food on their own terms.

Can Healthy Eating Also Be Convenient?

Balancing convenience with healthy eating can often feel like an impossible task, especially for busy parents juggling work, school, and extracurriculars.

WHY IT MATTERS: When life gets hectic, it’s tempting to reach for quick, less nutritious options. But consistently prioritizing convenience over health can impact your family’s long-term well-being.

The good news? You don’t have to choose between the two. With a few strategic tips, you can create meals that are both quick and healthy, making it easier to stick to your nutritional goals. Here's how.

1. Embrace Semi-Homemade Meals

Using semi-homemade ingredients like pre-chopped vegetables or pre-cooked grains can save you time while still delivering a wholesome meal. For instance, I frequently use pre-cooked rotisserie chicken and salad greens to assemble quick, nutritious dinners.

We also rely on frozen cheese pizza for quick meals because (1) it costs less than take-out, (2) we have a little more control over the quality of the toppings used, and (3) dinner is still ready in 12-15 minutes with little effort on my part!

2. Lean on Meal Planning and Prep

Spending just an hour or two on the weekend to plan and prep meals can make your weeknight dinners stress-free. This could involve chopping vegetables, marinating proteins, or assembling freezer-friendly meals to pull out later in the week.

3. Utilize One-Pot or Sheet-Pan Recipes

One-pot dishes and sheet-pan meals are perfect for busy nights. They simplify cooking and cleanup while ensuring you provide a balanced meal. A recent favorite of mine has been sheet-pan dinners, which allow everything to cook together, minimizing mess. As the weather cools down, I also rely on big batches of soups and stews - which even get ladled out into individual containers for pre-prepped lunches.

4. Stock up on Healthy Convenience Foods

Keeping your pantry and freezer stocked with healthy staples like frozen vegetables, canned beans, and quick-cooking grains means you’ll always have the ingredients for a nutritious meal on hand. These items are invaluable on those nights when cooking from scratch just isn’t an option.

Conclusion

Balancing convenience with healthy eating doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By incorporating semi-homemade meals, planning ahead, using one-pot recipes, and stocking your pantry wisely, you can ensure that your family enjoys nutritious meals even on the busiest days.

Purposeful is the New Perfect

Perfecting every meal is a recipe for stress; instead, consistently making purposeful decisions can lead to healthier, more meaningful family mealtimes.

WHY IT MATTERS: Striving for perfection at mealtime can create stress and send unintended messages to your children about food. Instead, focusing on making purposeful decisions and settling for "good enough" meals can foster a healthier relationship with food for your family.

As a nutrition expert and mom of three, I once felt immense pressure to perfect every meal. With my background in nutritional epidemiology, I believed that each meal was an opportunity to teach my kids important lessons about food. But the constant drive to perfect every bite only led to stress—both for me and, unintentionally, for my kids. 

Perfection, as it turns out, isn't the goal. Instead, consistently making purposeful decisions that lead to "good enough" meals can have a more significant impact on your child's eating habits and their relationship with food.

Making Purposeful Decisions Consistently at Mealtime

Making purposeful decisions consistently at mealtime involves focusing on what truly matters for your family’s health and well-being, rather than aiming for perfection. Here are some practical ways parents can achieve this:

1. Prioritize Your Core Values

Identify the core values that are important to your family, such as nutrition, family bonding, or cultural traditions. Use these values as a guide for making mealtime decisions. Success isn't measured by what your kids eat at each meal but by how well those meals align with your values.

2. Plan Ahead but Stay Flexible

Having a plan can be a lifesaver, but flexibility is key. I always create a meal plan that allows for adjustments—because life happens! If something unexpected comes up, like a late work meeting or an extra practice or emergency trip to the vet, don’t stress about altering the plan. Do what you need to get through the day! The ability (and willingness) to adapt will help you maintain your energy for the process over the long run.

3. Focus on Balance Over Time

Instead of aiming for balance at every meal, think bigger. Look at your family's diet over the course of a week. This broader view can reduce the pressure to achieve perfection daily and make it easier to establish sustainable habits.

4. Create Simple, Go-To Meals

Develop a repertoire of simple, go-to meals that you know are nutritious and well-received by your family. These can serve as reliable options on busy nights when you don’t have time to prepare a more elaborate meal. Consistency with these meals can help you stay true to your values without the stress of perfection.

5. Involve the Whole Family

When kids get involved in the kitchen, perfection goes out the window, but that's okay. Letting them participate in meal prep gives them ownership and encourages them to try new things. When everyone has a say, meals are more likely to reflect your family’s values and be enjoyed by all.

6. Set Realistic Expectations

Take a realistic approach to meal planning by considering your schedule. On busy days, plan for quick and easy meals rather than elaborate dishes. Setting expectations that match your reality ensures you can show up consistently without burning out.

7. Practice Gratitude and Reflection

At the end of the day, take a moment to reflect on the meals you’ve had and what went well. Express gratitude for the opportunity to nourish your family, and use any challenges as learning experiences rather than reasons for frustration. (You might even encourage your family to participate as well.)

8. Emphasize Connection Over Perfection

Mealtimes are about more than just food—they're about connection. Whether it’s a family dinner or grabbing takeout before practice, focus on the time you have together rather than striving for a perfect meal. Remember, the goal is to enjoy the moment, not to make every meal flawless.

9. Allow for Treats and Indulgences

Purposeful eating doesn’t mean never enjoying treats. Allowing space for indulgences within your overall meal plan is a realistic approach that teaches balance and moderation.

10. Celebrate the Small Wins

Finally, find joy in the small victories. Maybe your toddler stayed at the table a little longer, or your kids cleared their plates without complaining. These small wins keep you motivated and remind you that progress is happening, even if it’s not perfect.

Celebrate the Small Wins

It's easy to get discouraged when big goals feel out of reach. But what if the key to staying motivated lies in the small wins along the way?

WHY IT MATTERS: Focusing only on the end goal—whether it's getting your child to eat new foods, losing weight, or building healthier habits—can leave you feeling defeated when progress is slow. Recognizing and celebrating small wins can keep you motivated and energized on your journey.

It Started with An Eggplant

A while ago, my son and I were grocery shopping, and as usual, he was exploring the fruit and vegetable aisle. Out of nowhere, he ran up to me, holding an eggplant like a prized treasure, asking, "Mom, can we please get this?" I was surprised—after all, eggplant isn't exactly a staple in our home. I don’t even like it much myself, and I knew he hadn’t tried it before. But he was so eager that I couldn't say no.

We brought the eggplant home, searched for recipes together, and prepared it for dinner. But when the moment of truth arrived, my son took one look at the dish and said:

Ryan Reynolds saying absolutely not

"No way."

He didn’t touch it, didn’t taste it, and I was left with a meal I didn’t really want to eat either.

A Perspective Shift  

At that moment, I could have felt like a failure because he didn’t eat the eggplant. It’s easy to get disheartened when your efforts don’t lead to immediate results.

But here's the thing: he did do a lot of other things that were huge deals: He he showed interest in a new vegetable, he was willing to help me find a recipe, and we spent time together preparing it. These might seem like small steps, but they’re significant.

So I chose to focus on those small victories instead.

Why Small Wins Matter

In the long run, it’s these small moments that build the foundation for bigger successes. Your child asking for a new vegetable, participating in meal prep, or even just touching a food they’ve never tried before—all of these are wins. They’re signs of progress, even if they don’t immediately lead to a clean plate.

Actionable Tips

1. Celebrate Curiosity: When your child shows interest in something new, acknowledge it. Curiosity is the first step toward openness and willingness to try new things.

2. Involve Them in the Process: Engage your kids in meal prep, even if the end result isn’t what you hoped for. The experience itself is valuable.

3. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome: Whether it’s trying a new food or sticking to a new habit, praise the effort, not just the result. This helps reinforce positive behavior over time.

4. Keep a Win Journal: Consider keeping a journal of small wins to remind yourself of the progress being made. This can be a powerful motivator on tough days.

Conclusion

Helping your family develop healthier eating habits is a journey, not a sprint. It’s easy to get caught up in the end goal and overlook the small victories that happen along the way. But by shifting your focus to these small wins, you can stay motivated and keep moving forward.

Remember, every small step is a step in the right direction.