Your kids are just starting to eat broccoli without gagging. Then Grandma rolls in with a bag of Skittles. Now what?
Why It Matters:
When a well-meaning family member overrides your feeding choices, it’s more than annoying. It can confuse your kids and derail the progress you’ve worked hard to build. But here’s the thing: these moments don’t have to end in tension or guilt. With a little prep (and a lot of grace), you can protect your values and the relationship.
When Grandparents Undermine the Food Rules
You’re not imagining it.
Whether it’s the lollipops before dinner or the endless push for seconds, grandparents can unintentionally steamroll your family’s food routines. They raised kids too. They love their grandkids. And they really believe that “a little treat never hurt anybody.”
But when your child is still learning how to listen to their body or trust unfamiliar foods, these moments can cause more harm than help.
The Real Issue Isn’t the Candy
It’s the conflict of values.
You're focused on balance, trust, and long-term skills. But they’re focused on joy, tradition, and maybe even making up for what they didn’t get to give you.
This isn’t a villain story. It’s a values mismatch.
It's not war. It’s just war with sprinkles.
How to Respond Without Starting World War Snack
Here’s where CIRCLE Up comes in. It's my go-to framework for finding common ground:
C – Clarify Your Values Before you even pack the car, get clear on your non-negotiables. Are you okay with dessert? Just not before dinner? Do you care more about sugar volume or timing?
I – Invite Conversation Talk before the visit. Say: “We’re working on helping [Kid’s Name] learn when they’re full. Could we skip the extra dessert push this time?”
R – Respect Their Intentions Start with gratitude: “I know how much you love them, and I love that. That’s why I want to be upfront…”
✨ Want to add a little more levity? Add “Also, I don’t want to be the ‘mean mom’ after you leave. Help me out, will you?”
C – Consider Compromise Instead of banning foods, can you offer boundaries? “How about sweets after lunch instead of all day?”
L – Listen and Let Go (a little) Some hills are not worth dying on. You can’t control every bite outside your home—and that’s okay.
E – Educate With Empathy If they’re open, explain how this isn’t about being strict—it’s about building a lifelong relationship with food.
Up – Uplift the Wins Notice and appreciate when things go right. Say, “Thanks for offering apples first. Did you see that he actually ate them before the cupcake!” Positive reinforcement works well with grownups and kids alike.
Scripts You Can Actually Use
Still not sure what you'll say? Here are some scripts you can use as a starting point:
“We’re helping her learn how to notice when she’s full. Can you help us by not encouraging second servings?”
“I know it feels harmless, but when you offer cookies before dinner, it makes it hard for us to stick to our routine.”
“He can have a treat—but just one, and only after lunch. Do you want to help him pick which one?”
If none of those feel right, use or adapt this prompt and put it into your favorite AI tool
ChatGPT: Can you please help me write a short, respectful script to talk with [my mom / my in-laws / my dad] about [specific food situation or rule] because I’m working on helping my child [insert your goal or skill, like ‘learn when they’re full’ or ‘feel confident trying new foods’]. I want to explain our approach clearly, stay kind, and avoid conflict if possible.
Final Thought: Keep the Bigger Picture in Mind
Food isn’t just nourishment—it’s love, memory, identity. That’s why these moments feel so charged. But they’re also opportunities to teach your child that it’s okay to set boundaries and hold relationships with care.
The broccoli battle is small. The trust you’re building? That’s big.
How to Choose the Right Baby Spoon for You
Today, we’re talking about spoons — baby spoons in particular — and how to know when it’s time to introduce one, what kind to choose depending on where your little one is in their eating journey, and what factors to consider when picking a spoon.
Why It Matters
Choosing the right feeding tools can support your baby’s ability to self-feed, foster independence, and help maintain their natural ability to listen to internal hunger and fullness cues. Plus, the right spoon can make mealtimes less frustrating — for both of you.
Signs Your Baby Might Be Ready for a Spoon
You've already started solid feeding.
Your baby is showing interest in feeding themselves (like grabbing for your spoon during meals).
Your baby has had exposure to finger foods and using their hands to eat.
You’re introducing foods that are easier eaten with a spoon (think yogurt or soup).
Quick Reminder: There’s no one-size-fits-all moment when it comes to starting spoons. It depends on your child’s development and your family's goals.
Inside, there’s a simple 5-question quiz about your child's feeding skills and habits — your score will guide you toward the best utensil type. I've dropped these questions below so you can dive right in.
Question 1. Your daughter is:
1. < 12 months
2. 12-16 months
3. > 16 months
Question 2. Your son has already mastered dipping with pre-spoons (think NumNum spoons)?
1. Not yet 2. Most of the time 3. He’s a master!
Question 3. Your daughter wants to feed herself:
1. Not really. 2. She’s showing more interest. 3. ALL.THE.TIME.
Question 4. You’re comfortable with a little mess at mealtime:
1. I prefer a clean floor. 2. A little mess is okay. 3. Messes are okay, we have a dog.
Question 5. You would like to encourage your son to practice self-feeding:
1. It’s not super important to me.
2. Please!
Noted your answers? Add up the circled numbers and head to the next section to understand what they could mean for your little one's utensil needs.
Understanding the Quiz Results
If your score was less than 8 ➔ Start with early feeder spoons.
If you scored 8 or more ➔ You’re ready for next-level utensils.
Good News and Bad News
I do have some bad news ... but also some good news! And since I am a bad news first kind of person here it is:
Bad news: There’s no single spoon that guarantees your baby will become a confident eater.
Good news: There doesn’t need to be just one. Because there are so many. Different babies thrive with different tools — and experimenting to find the one that is right for your little one at this particular stage in her/his journey is part of the process.
Final Tips for Choosing and Using Baby Spoons
Here are my final tips for choosing a baby spoon - now and in the future! Whether you're still in the pre-spoon phase or ready to tackle a table knife, these tips can help you make sense of what's best for your family in the moment.
Experiment. Try different types. If you want to test a Kizingo spoon, email me — I’ll send you one.
Be patient. It will be slow, it will be messy — and that’s normal.
Let needs change. As your baby's motor skills grow, their spoon needs will too. Different sizes and shapes will help them at different stages.
Embrace the mess. It’s part of the learning. And honestly, it's part of the fun.
Stay flexible. The “perfect spoon” today might not be the best one in a few months — and that’s exactly how it should be.
The Advice That Ended My Favorite Food Tradition
I stopped making (Christmas) sugar cookies for six years. Not because I didn’t love making or eating them — but because someone said I ought to.
Why It Matters
We’re bombarded with nutrition advice—some of it sound, some of it fear-based. But even good advice won’t work for your family if it doesn’t align with your values.
Food traditions might not check every "healthy eating" box, but they nourish us in ways that go far beyond nutrients. When we focus only on what to limit, we risk losing what makes food joyful, memorable, and meaningful. That matters—for us and for our kids.
The Problem with Only Following the Rules
In my early years of motherhood, I was laser-focused on limiting sugar. In my research over the years, the data were clear: sugar, and sugary beverages, in particular, were strongly linked to poor long-term health outcomes. And time and again I heard from adults about how difficult it was to stop drinking them. What's more, kids were consuming them at younger and younger ages.
In 2021, 49% of children aged 1-5 years old did not eat a daily vegetable during the preceding week; and more than 57% drank a sugar-sweetened beverage.
So I made a decision—no soda in the house. That felt easy. But what else?
I was sharing this with a colleague one day. We were standing in my kitchen. I didn't have kids yet, but I was pregnant with my first and as I shared this idea of wanting to find ways to limit sugar in the house she glanced around my kitchen, and said: “Yeah, soda, sure. But obviously also don’t keep these around.”
“These” were freshly baked and decorated frosted Christmas cookies.
When I was a kid I made cookies like this every year with my mom. They reminded me of childhood and holidays and my family.
But in that moment, I didn’t see any of those connections, that tradition. All I saw were piles of sugar. Suddenly I imagined the inevitable battles that would ensue with these lying in the kitchen, kids running through the house:
“Can I have one now? Pleeeeeaaaase” “Just one more?” “Why not??”
I didn't want to have to say no all the time. And I didn't want to adopt an all you can eat sugar cookie mentality either. (Now I know, of course, that these aren't the only two options ... but I was young and naive). My colleague's advice - eliminate these cookies - was going to help me achieve my goal: limit sugar.
So I stopped making them. For six years.
The Reframe I Didn’t See Coming
Fast forward almost 6 years, three kids, and a lot of personal growth. One afternoon in the preschool pickup line, a mom and I were chatting about the weekend ahead and she said, "Oh, I'm so excited. Friday is our 'sick day'.”
I must have had an obviously confused look on my face because she quickly followed with an explanation. “We’re not actually getting sick. Every year at this time, we pick a day, everyone calls in sick to school and work, and we spend the day in our PJ listening to Christmas music, watching holiday movies, and baking cookies. We love it. And I know, I know … all that sugar. Inevitably someone gets a stomachache from eating too many cookies, but we only have so much time with our kids at home – you know - and these memories are priceless.”
We only have so much time with our kids at home – you know - and these memories are priceless.
I was floored. She had taken the very thing I’d given up—and made it the centerpiece of an annual tradition.
That afternoon, I went home, baked a batch of sugar cookies, and let my kids go to town. Sugar be damned.
What We Gained When I Brought It Back
The following year, we did the same thing again, making and decorating sugar cookies and this time we invited friends.
Now? Our cookie decorating party is eight years strong. But more importantly, it sparked a shift in how I think about food.
But that’s not all. That experience opened the door for me to consider the importance of traditions broadly – especially as they relate to food - and we’ve continued to add new ones. :
- Sunday pancake breakfasts
- Raclette on Christmas Eve
- Choose-your-own birthday dinners
- Weekly pizza and movie night
Food became more than a tool to manage nutrients. It became a tool to strengthen connection and celebrate being together.
Values Validate Advice
Why this 180? What happened?
Listening to that mom in the preschool pick-up line, I realized something critical had been missing from the way I took advice to help me achieve my health goals.
Achieving goals (any goals really, but especially health and wellness goals) is hard. It requires us to make behavioral, psychological, maybe even financial changes. It takes dedication it takes effort it takes.
So advice, even when it’s well-meaning and evidence-based, doesn’t always fit. Why? Because it leaves something out: your values.
If a piece of advice conflicts with your values, it may help you achieve a short-term goal—but it won’t feel good. And it won’t stick. For lasting change, advice needs to help you achieve your goals AND align with your values.
Now, before I take any advice, I ask: "Does this align with my values?" If not, I let it go.
Healthy Eaters Develop Over Decades, Not Dinners
I know that feeding kids feels hard. It feels consequential. It feels like every meal matters and that if they're not eating what you made tonight, it's a failure. But remember: You have time. More than you think.
So if you’ve given up a food tradition that once brought you joy because you thought that's what you were supposed to do .... it’s not too late to bring it back.
Because the best kind of healthy eating is the kind that nourishes body and soul.
Should Schools Serve Whole-Fat Milk Again?
The Milk Debate is Back
A new bipartisan bill could bring whole and 2% milk back to school cafeterias — ending a decade's long policy that limited kids to low-fat and skim.
So, should we celebrate the return of whole milk? Or worry we’re undoing progress?
Let’s look at the facts.
What the Science Says
In 2010, the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act mandated that schools serve only nonfat or low-fat milk - aiming to help reduce childhood obesity by limiting saturated fat intake (particularly in school meals).
Now, the Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act seeks to reverse this previous legislation, allowing schools to offer whole and 2% milk alongside the lower fat options. For years, the contribution of dairy fat to total fat intake was thought to potentially contribute to childhood weight and weight gain.
But newer research challenges that assumption:
A meta-analysis of 28 studies found that children who drank whole milk had 40% lower odds of being overweight or obese than kids who drank reduced-fat milk.
Another long-term prospective study showed that kids who drank whole or 2% milk were less likely to become overweight adolescents.
Other studies have found smaller or non-significant relationships between milk-fat and child weight.
In other words: whole milk may not be the enemy we once thought it was.
(Important note: Most of these studies are observational, so we still need more research before changing national guidance entirely.)
This is Bigger Than Milk
But this debate isn’t really just about fat content of the milk served in schools.
Whole milk on its own isn’t automatically “good” or “bad.” It depends on how it’s used, what it’s paired with, and who it’s for.
A cup of whole milk alongside a balanced school lunch? Could be great.
A low-fat chocolate milk with 20 grams of added sugar alongside chips and a sleeve of Oreo cookies? That's a different story.
I think it's critical to think about access. For many, especially those from low-income families, school meals are a primary source of nutrition. More than 20 million children rely on free or reduced-price school lunches every day. Ensuring these meals are both nutritious and satisfying is essential.
Offering a more satisfying, calorie-dense option like whole milk might actually help close a nutrition gap — not widen it.
So what is this debate really about:
- How kids actually eat in real life - What “healthy” looks like across different homes and cultures - And what kinds of meals are satisfying, nourishing, and consistent
The most recent 2025 Dietary Guidelines highlight this as they call for flexibility and inclusivity — a pattern-based approach, not just nutrient policing.
Families, Consider This
When it comes to choosing milk — at home or at school — ask:
What keeps my kid full and satisfied?
What keeps them from snacking between meals?
How does this choice work in the context of my kids' overall eating habits and patterns?
What does my child's pediatrician say about their nutritional needs and growth trend?
There’s not one right answer.
But a balanced approach is always a good place to start.
Bottom Line
This isn’t about whether whole milk is “back” or low-fat milk is "out."
It’s about building food systems — at home and in schools — that reflect evolving science, real-world needs, and what’s actually doable for families.
And for some kids and some families? That might just include a carton of whole milk.
What Makes a Family-Friendly Diet Actually Work?
A new study suggests a traditional "African" diet — think whole grains, legumes, fermented veggies — might be even healthier than the Mediterranean diet. But let’s be clear: just because something is healthy somewhere else doesn’t mean it’s automatically the right fit for your family.
What people eat is only part of the story
Diets like the African1 or Mediterranean diet don’t work because of one “superfood” or a magic combination of foods. It's much more complicated than that.
It's part of their culture, yes. But it's also been influenced by history, geography, access, and - sometimes - necessity. And, these diets - be they Okinawan or Nicoyan - often work because of their sharedculture, daily rhythms, tight-knit community, and core values.
Things like:
Eating with others
Cooking from scratch
Making meals predictable but flexible
Tasting things again and again and again
In other words, they’re habits, not hacks.
So, what actually works for families?
You don’t need to eat like an Italian nonna or a Tanzanian farmer to raise healthy kids. While you can certain learn from them - and take inspiration from these diets and ways of life - there are lots of different ways to be healthy.
What you do need: - Clear food values - A plan that fits your family’s life - Willingness to start small - The long view — it’s not about the broccoli today, it’s about the habit of tasting tomorrow
In my house, I create food goals that gave me some flexibility and space to make mistakes and try new things without feeling like I was failing to live up to ONE particular set of standards.
Some of our food goals include: - Be willing to try new foods (even when we don't want to!) - Eat a variety of foods (over time) - Tune into hunger and fullness cues - Know where food comes from (generally speaking)
Here’s where to start
Don’t just follow the headlines because you think you should. Follow what’s working — or not working — in your kitchen.
When you see headlines that claim to revolutionize your life, your eating, or your health. Pause and ask yourself some key questions:
What’s feeling easy right now - what's working really well already?
What’s stressing us out - where are your pain points and might this new claim/diet/hack help that?
What matters most TO ME when it comes to food/mealtimes/health and does this help me get closer to that?
Then, let that guide you. Not someone else’s trend.
One more thing...
If millet sounds interesting? Try it! But if that’s not realistic tonight, don't worry. Try again! Want to incorporate more fermented foods after reading about the Chagga people's diet? Great! But if fermented foods are new to you find a gentle way in - maybe toast some sourdough. Or offer pickles.
Start where you are. Use what you have. That’s what makes a food culture sustainable.
Bottom line: Don’t mimic someone else’s food plan. Build one that reflects your family’s values. That’s the healthiest “diet” of all.
1Temba, G.S., Pecht, T., Kullaya, V.I. et al. Immune and metabolic effects of African heritage diets versus Western diets in men: a randomized controlled trial. Nat Med(2025). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41591-025-03602-0
Baby-Led Weaning Exposed: What Works and What Doesn’t
Baby-led weaning (BLW) has a loyal following—and a reputation. For some, it’s a revolutionary approach to feeding. For others, it’s a stressful, messy, high-stakes experiment in choking prevention.
So what’s the real story? Read on.
Why It Matters
Feeding your baby isn’t just about nutrition—it’s also about values, routines, and the kind of relationship with food you hope to foster. BLW gets a lot of attention because it encourages autonomy and engagement. But like all parenting approaches, it’s not one-size-fits-all. Knowing where it shines (and where it stumbles) helps you make informed, confident choices.
As a mom of three, a nutrition expert, and someone who practiced BLW both by choice and by necessity, I’m here to break it down: what baby-led weaning gets right, where it may fall short, and how to find a balanced path forward.
What Baby-Led Weaning Gets Right
1. It Promotes Autonomy and Self-Regulation
One of the biggest strengths of BLW is that it lets babies control what—and how much—they eat. This supports their ability to listen to hunger and fullness cues, a skill many adults are still working to recover.
Getting your started on self-feeding from the moment you introduce solids can help them maintain this key skill.
“I didn’t want to be making separate meals or coaxing one more bite—I wanted my kids to know when they were full and to trust that.”
2. It Emphasizes Texture and Variety
Many traditional feeding approaches lean heavily on smooth textures, which can limit sensory development and lead to picky eating. BLW encourages early exposure to a wide range of food forms, which can be critical for acceptance.
“Intentional exposure to texture is one of the most important aspects of BLW, in my opinion.”
3. It Makes Family Meals Easier
One of my motivations for BLW? Sanity. With multiple kids, serving one meal that everyone can eat makes life so much easier. BLW encourages babies to eat what the family eats, which can help build routines and reduce stress.
4. It Helps Avoid Power Struggles
Self-feeding often reduces the push-pull dynamics that happen when parents try to get kids to eat “just one more bite.” (If you're been reading/listening to me for a while, you know I push on this issue a lot ... bribing and coercing does not work!)
Less pressure usually means a more positive experience—for everyone.
5. It Supports Developmental Skills
Handling whole foods gives babies the chance to practice fine motor skills, chewing, and hand-eye coordination. But these skills don’t always come naturally. That’s where intentional teaching matters.
“Helping my daughter learn to feed herself—and seeing what was missing—actually inspired me to start Kizingo.”
Where Baby-Led Weaning Might Miss the Mark
1. Risk of Nutrient Gaps—Especially Iron
After six months, babies need more iron—and finger foods like soft meat or legumes may not be consumed in large enough amounts. Without planning, BLW can leave nutrient gaps.
2. Choking Confusion and Food Safety
There’s a difference between safe gagging and dangerous choking. But not all caregivers feel confident navigating that line. And some BLW advice—like giving whole apples or bones—can feel unrealistic or unsafe.
“I wasn’t handing my baby a drumstick and hoping for the best. I wanted exposure, not panic.”
3. It May Overlook Teaching Opportunities
Some babies benefit from occasional spoon-feeding or being taught how to use a utensil. A strict BLW approach can delay these skills or create challenges when different foods (like soups or yogurt) are introduced.
“Yes, I spoon-fed my baby sometimes—and no, I don’t think that makes me a failure at BLW.”
4. It Can Feel Judgmental
This is a big one. In many online communities, if you’re not doing 100% BLW, you’re doing it wrong. That kind of rigidity is unhelpful and unrealistic.
“There’s a difference between being intentional and being inflexible. Parenting isn’t a competition in purity.”
5. It Doesn’t Always Emphasize Repeated Exposure
BLW supports exploration, but it often skips over one of the biggest predictors of food acceptance: repetition. Babies may need to see, touch, or taste a food many times before they actually eat it.
“Just because they spit it out once doesn’t mean they won’t love it the tenth time. (Or the 20th. Keep trying!)”
So…What’s the Best Approach?
The best approach is one that works for your baby, your family, and your values. For me, that meant a blend of BLW principles and traditional feeding. I prioritized autonomy and structure, exposure and intentional teaching.
You don’t have to pick a side. You can mix finger foods and purees. You can follow your baby’s lead and still plan for nutrient needs. You can prioritize what matters most—and let go of the rest.
Key Takeaway
“Feeding your child should not be a performance. It should be responsive, supportive, and rooted in trust—both in your child and yourself.”
Baby-led weaning is a helpful tool—not a rulebook. Use what works. Leave what doesn’t. And remember, your goal isn’t perfection. It’s connection, confidence, and helping your child grow into a joyful, curious eater.
Still not sure what's right for you?
Reach out! Send me an email or fill out this form and let's connect. I love helping families determine what's right for them given all the complicated factors that make up their unique situation.
still want more? Read the full video transcript below:
"You are not doing baby led weaning? Good luck explaining purees to your pediatrician. When your kid is three and she can't chew!"
"I'm literally over here scraping avocado off the ceiling and basically throwing my entire grocery budget in the trash with all the food waste. Meanwhile, all I can think about is her choking on a softened carrot stick."
Baby-led weaning has big opinions, but like most things in parenting, it is a little bit more complicated than black and white. Yes or no, do or don't. But these debates are so common they can leave any parent second guessing their decisions. So let's talk about what baby led weaning gets right and where it might be a little overhyped.
Hi, I'm Dr. Kiyah Duffey, a nutrition expert, entrepreneur, speaker, and mom of three. I help busy health conscious parents transform their family's relationship with food. So really let's talk about it - baby led weaning.
When my oldest was born, I knew that I wanted her to have the freedom to decide how much of what we made that she wanted to eat. And I did not want to get in the habit of making two separate meals, one for her and one for us. (One meal was enough, thank you very much!)
I also knew that I didn't want to have to force or, or coerce her to just have one more bite or to finish her plate. If you have been listening to me at all for the last year-ish or so, you know how I feel about coaxing and bribing.
So I really leaned into the philosophy behind baby-led weaning. Rather than buying special baby food, I simply gave Eleanor the foods that I was preparing for for my husband and me. It just made sense to me. And over time that approach evolved and shaped how I fed my second and third kids.
Not because I had time to read up on every new development behind baby led weaning ... new theory, new practices ... but because it felt easier to me and more in line with how I wanted our family to eat and, really honestly, how I wanted to be preparing food.
Over time I noticed that there were aspects of baby led weaning that really resonated, but there were also some places where I felt like it kind of missed the mark. Or I think more accurately where it left me personally feeling like I needed to find advice elsewhere, almost like it was incomplete, at least for my needs.
So today I thought I would share this perspective with you all. Um, and again, all of this is with an eye towards the goal of being able to raise healthy, confident and competent eaters. So one of the key principles of baby led weaning is allowing babies control to control what uh, of the foods that are being served and how much they eat.
So they control what and how much of what is being served that they choose to eat. And in this respect, it really puts them in the driver's seat. And this is important because it ultimately helps them stay connected to their internal cues of hunger and fullness. And in a world honestly, where so many of us have unlearned, this have unlearned how to listen to our bodies and to our internal signals of hunger and fullness, this early experience we can provide our kids matters a lot. It really can set the stage for a healthier and more positive relationship with food in the long run.
Okay, number two, and I think this might be one of the most important benefits, at least in my opinion for what baby-led weaning does, is that it encourages variety in texture. So traditional weaning, um, tends to rely on on purees or similar really smooth textures. I mean go down any baby food aisle and this is what you'll see smooth textures in a jar. And while there's nothing wrong with that in moderation, prolonged exposure to only smooth foods can cause problems down the road like texture aversions or even delayed in oral motor development. So I wanted my kids to be able to experience differences in textures, you know, from the very beginning. Um, and not only differences in textures but differences in flavors. You know, I didn't hand them a whole chicken drumstick, but I did want them to try food in different forms and with different flavors that felt real and interesting and more like what they would ultimately see.
Number three is also a driving force behind my decision for baby led weaning. And that is that it encourages everyone, your baby included, to eat the same meal at the same time. I had read lots of research on the importance of family meals and I had grown up largely eating the same time as my family until we were older and and you know, had complicated schedules and so did my husband. And we agreed that this was really an important value that we wanted to share with our kids. And especially as more kids joined our table as two and three came along, it was not realistic for me to prepare separate meals for a baby or a toddler while trying to manage the chaos of dinner for the rest of us. Baby led weaning just made it easier for me to serve one meal knowing everyone could participate because baby led weaning is focused on self-feeding.
There's also less room in there for that coaxing bribing requiring. And that means you can avoid power struggles, which am I right that is a win in anybody's book. Now that didn't mean that I never fed my kids myself or I never requested. Please, please, please just try it. Of course not. I mean there are times when you have to do that. Maybe you don't want a huge mess, um, or you need their clothes to stay clean or you don't have time for an extended and lengthy lunch or you are eating tomato soup at grandma's house over her white carpet. I mean whatever the reason, flexibility matters more than perfection as with anything in parenting. And that is the approach I tended to take. Responsive, not rigid. Alright, finally, this is where I think baby lead weaning also shines. And that is reason number five.
It aligns with how babies learn. Feeding themselves helps babies practice with coordination, chewing and fine motor skills. These are all things that they want to do themselves and they want to be mimicking what you do at the dinner table. You know how your baby is always reaching for the spoon when you're trying to spoonfeed them. That's because they want to do what you are doing. They want to have a spoon to hold. They learn by doing. And that insight actually watching my oldest learn to feed herself and realizing what tools we had and what was missing from that process is actually what led me to create Kizingo and our curved ergonomic spoons.
Okay. But there are also some places where I think baby led weaning, like I said, may miss the mark just a little bit or for me again more accurately. I think it was that it left me feeling like I needed to find more information and I needed to go elsewhere to find that.
So first, um, baby led weaning can, not that it will, but it can leave nutritional gaps. Iron here is a big one. Babies iron needs jump significantly around six months of age. And if you're not intentional about how you are offering foods, you're not intentionally offering iron-rich foods. Things like cooked lentils, beef strips, mashed beans, babies can end up falling short. Baby-led weaning of course can provide these things, but it takes planning.
okay, number two, not all of the foods I see as suggested as appropriate for baby-led weaning necessarily felt appropriate to me. I have seen advice suggesting that baby's not on chicken bones or raw carrot sticks. And that just really wasn't, it wasn't my style, it wasn't something I felt completely comfortable with. You know, safety does matter of course, and I think that sometimes advocates of baby led weaning can downplay that people's needs for that gagging is normal even if your baby is eating nothing but purees.
But choking is a legitimate concern that parents shouldn't feel shame about feeling. So helping parents really understand the difference between these two gagging and choking and making sure that parents are trained to help in the case of actual choking are really important and could go a long way in adding to baby led weaning.
Okay, number three. Um, where baby led weaning may miss the mark is that it doesn't necessarily provide guidance on how to teach some key skills. So those early months in baby led weaning focuses a lot on using hands and some parents may want more guidance on things like how to introduce utensils. I personally did use purees and I did use spoons to feed. It was never a one size fits all kind of way of feeding and I don't think it should be. Learning how to eat is a skill and like any skill, kids benefit from teaching from support and from modeling.
Alright, number four, where could baby led weaning Maybe miss the mark? And this is one of my personal biggest issues with the baby led weaning community at large sometimes can feel like if you're not doing it all the way, you're doing it wrong. I certainly felt this kind of pressure, uh, reading certain sites, but feeding your child, you know, it can't be this like purity contest. Uh, I think that how we feed our kids is just as important as what we feed them. And that can include flexibility. It can include finding compassion with ourselves, with our kids, with our friends, with strangers, and being responsive both to your child's needs and to your family's needs. It cannot be a one size fits all. There is no right or wrong.
Alright. Lastly, while baby-led weaning is great at encouraging autonomy, it's not always clear on what to do when your baby refuses a food or when they spit it out or throw it on the floor for the 20th time.
This is where repeated exposure is critical and it is important. It takes time, multiple tries for babies to accept new foods, as you know. And, um, baby led weaning really can do more to incorporate this piece of the puzzle explicitly for parents. Okay, what does it all mean? Where do I land? Here's where I land baby led weaning. I think it gets a lot of things right? It empowers kids, it makes meals simpler for families. It introduces variety, especially in texture and it helps build long-term skills. But like anything, it is not a silver bullet. It can fall short in areas like ensuring adequate nutrient intake if you're not really careful in your planning, in skill development perhaps. And in flexibility, especially if we consider it, it is either all or nothing, which it is not. For me, it was never about following baby led weaning to the letter, whatever that meant.
It was about helping my kids develop a positive, confident relationship with food to be mindful eaters and to make sure that I could show up as a calm parent at meal times because that really was just as important.
So if you're starting solid foods and you're wondering, did I do this right? I want you to hear this: There is no right, there is no one right way.
There are some ways where there is more evidence to it and likely to help your kids develop a more positive relationship with food. Yes, absolutely. And that can include finger foods, it can include, uh, being a messy eater. It can include occasionally needing to use an airplane to get your kid to eat whatever it is you're offering. All of that can be a part of helping your kids become confident, healthy, conscientious, mindful eaters, whatever it is you're doing, you are here because you want to learn and you're doing great.
6 Ways to Feed Kids and Maintain Your Budget
We’ve all been there. One week, your toddler is scarfing down blueberries like they’re gold, and the next, they’re acting like you’ve served them a plate of nails. Meanwhile, your grocery bill just keeps climbing—and so does the food waste.
Why It Matters
We all know kids need repeated exposure to foods to build curiosity and acceptance. It’s true, and it works over time. But in the real world? That exposure comes at a cost—both in time and money—and when your toddler pulls a fast one on you (cucumbers last week were gold, but now they’re public enemy #1), it’s frustrating.
So how can you stick with giving kids those valuable exposures without wasting half your grocery haul?
Here’s what works.
6 Strategies to Reduce Waste and Keep Variety on the Table
1. Serve Small Portions
When offering new or less familiar foods, start small. Resist the urge to pile on the peas. A small spoonful or two is plenty.
Why? Because too much can overwhelm them. When kids feel overwhelmed, they’re more likely to refuse and leave it all behind, turning into waste.
Smaller portions also make it easier to see progress. Did they touch it? Smell it? Take a bite? Those are wins—even if they didn’t clean their plate.
(added content) Think of this as “nudging” them toward comfort, rather than pushing them toward finishing
Why it works: Smaller portions reduce plate waste and make it easier for your child to feel successful. If they taste it, that’s a win. If they don’t, you’re not scraping half a cup of peas into the trash.
2. Buy Small, Too
Not only should you serve small, but you should also buy small—especially when introducing new foods. Bulk bins are great for testing things like nuts, seeds, grains, or dried fruit in tiny amounts.
For produce, buy loose items when possible or hit up the farmers market where you can often grab just one or two of something.
And don’t forget frozen. Frozen fruits and veggies last longer and let you pull out just what you need. Frozen blueberries in smoothies, pancakes, or oatmeal can save you from throwing away a pint of fresh ones.
(added content) Bonus tip: Learn how to freeze fresh produce yourself so you can save what’s left for later use. Blueberries, for example, freeze beautifully.
(OLD)When it comes to shopping, smaller is smarter. Look for stores that offer bulk bins or loose produce, so you’re not stuck with pre-packaged amounts. You can buy just a handful of dried fruit, a small scoop of quinoa, or a few apples instead of a whole bag.
Bonus tip (added content): Farmers markets are great for this too—small baskets, fresh picks, and sometimes the option to buy just a couple of whatever’s in season.
3. Serve It Differently
Let’s stick with blueberries for a minute. Last week your toddler couldn’t get enough of them fresh. This week? Total rejection.
Rather than toss them, change it up. Toss blueberries into muffins, blend them into smoothies, or bake them into pancakes. Shifting the texture or temperature—fresh to frozen, raw to baked—can sometimes bring kids back to a food they’re suddenly resisting.
4. Rotate Foods on Purpose
Instead of automatically restocking last week’s winner, intentionally rotate. Blueberries today, strawberries next week, mangoes after that.
This rotation not only helps avoid food fatigue but also builds in variety.
(added content) I like to call this being “brand or flavor agnostic”—try switching up not just produce, but things like cereals, yogurts, or crackers. It exposes kids to new flavors and textures and keeps your grocery budget a bit more predictable.
5. Plan for Flexible Meals
Don’t put all your eggs—or blueberries—in one basket. Think ahead.
If blueberries are on your list this week, have multiple ways in mind to use them. Fresh for snacks, frozen in smoothies, baked into muffins, or tossed on oatmeal.
(added content) The idea here isn’t to have an elaborate plan for every ingredient, but to build flexibility into your week. It takes the stress out of seeing uneaten produce staring at you every time you open the fridge.
The 10 Kitchen Secrets to Teach Your Toddler
It may seem chaotic, but toddlers belong in the kitchen—and teaching them simple skills now builds confidence, curiosity, and a love for cooking that will stick for life.
Why It Matters:
Toddlers are natural learners and explorers. When we invite them into the kitchen, we’re not just teaching them how to stir or spread peanut butter—we’re helping them develop fine motor skills, independence, and a positive relationship with food. Early exposure to cooking sets the foundation for life skills that go far beyond making a sandwich.
When my kids were little, I had the naive belief idea that bringing them into the kitchen would be this sweet, bonding experience—flour-dusted noses, little hands stirring happily… But the reality? It was messy, painfully slow, and honestly at times a little nerve-wracking.
But I knew that if I wanted my kids to grow up feeling - and being - comfortable in the kitchen, I had to let them start young. (And, more importantly, I had to figure out how *I* could feel comfortable with them in there. As a Type-A rule following, direction loving cook, baking with kids is not always fun.)
So today, I want to share 10 simple, safe, and fun kitchen skills you can start teaching your toddler or young child right now!
1. Washing Hands
Before we even think about cooking, the very first lesson in the kitchen is handwashing. And not just a quick rinse under the faucet—real, get-in-there scrubbing. So here’s how we do it:
Turn on warm water.
Use soap—lots of bubbles make it fun!
Scrub for 20 seconds—sing the ABCs or “Happy Birthday” twice.
Rinse well and dry on a clean towel.
Not into singing with your kid? Let your child pick their ‘scrubbing song’ and make it a routine every time they cook with you!
2. Pouring & Stirring
One of the easiest and most exciting things toddlers can do in the kitchen is pouring and stirring. And yes, it will be messy. But this is where they really start learning coordination and feeling like they’re actually helping.
Give them a small measuring cup and let them pour dry ingredients like flour or sugar into a bowl.
For stirring, use a big bowl with high sides to prevent spills.
Hold their hand gently and show them how to mix slowly in a circle.
Really not ready for the mess? Let them ‘stir’ in a dry bowl first, just to get the feel of it, before adding real ingredients!
3. Safe Cutting with Kid-Friendly Knives
Yes, even toddlers can start ‘chopping’! Obviously, we're not handing over the butcher's knife just yet. Instead, start with plastic or serrated kid-safe knives (see some of my favorites at the bottom of this post!) and soft foods like bananas, beets, cheese sticks or even cucumbers.
Show them how to hold food steady with one hand and cut with the other.
Teach them slow, gentle sawing motions instead of pressing down hard.
Stay close—this is a ‘hands-on’ skill at first!
A great way to build confidence? Have them slice their own banana for snack time—it’s simple, safe, and makes them feel so independent!
4. Spreading & Assembling
Kids love playing with their food, right, so let’s channel that energy into something useful—spreading and assembling!
Give them a dull butter knife and let them spread peanut butter, hummus, softened butter, or cream cheese on toast. (Pro tip: bread is sensitive, start with toast which can withstand the pressure that little kids place when first learning to spread.)
Let them assemble their own mini sandwiches or add cheese to crackers.
Teach the ‘gentle press’—don’t smash the sandwich, just "close it softly!"
This is a perfect way to get them involved in making their own snacks. And bonus? Less work for you!
5. Tearing & Peeling
One of the safest ways to introduce kids to kitchen prep is by letting them use their hands! Tearing and peeling are simple but important skills.
Let them tear lettuce for salads or sandwiches.
Have them peel bananas or start (or finish) an orange peel.
For slightly older toddlers, introduce a safe veggie peeler with supervision.
Here's another great way you can involve them - especially when you have a need for a messy pile of herbs (pesto, anyone?) Give them a pile of herbs like basil or mint and let them ‘tear’ the leaves into tiny pieces or just tear them off the stems. It's great fine motor practice and it doesn't matter what the leaves end up looking like at the end!
6. Measuring & Counting Ingredients
Cooking is basically a hands-on math lesson, and young kids love to count and pour. So let’s make measuring a game!
Count out scoops of flour or teaspoons of sugar together.
Teach big vs. small by showing them the difference between tablespoons and teaspoons.
Let them help level off dry ingredients with the back of a butter knife.
A fun way to make it stick? Let them be the ‘official measurer’ for every recipe—it gives them responsibility and keeps them engaged!
Also, if you're still really not into screwing up your recipes by letting a kid get involved, let your kids practice measuring, scooping, and pouring with something else. For about a year, we had a tub of rice with kitchen tools that the kids could use to pretend cook. (PRO TIP: Put down a sheet for even simpler clean up.)
7. Cracking Eggs
Okay, cracking eggs is a bit advanced, but if you start early, kids get the hang of it fast!
Show them how to tap the egg gently on the counter, not the bowl.
Teach them to use both thumbs to gently open it apart.
Always crack into a small bowl first—just in case there’s a rogue eggshell!
Trust me, there will be shell pieces in the beginning. But letting them practice builds confidence and coordination!
8. Sprinkling & Garnishing
One of the most fun parts of cooking for toddlers is adding the ‘final touch.’ Whether it’s sprinkling cheese, herbs, or a pinch of salt, they love seeing the dish come together!
Let them sprinkle shredded cheese on top of pasta or pizza.
.9Give them a ‘pinch’ of salt and let them practice evenly distributing it.
Hand them fresh herbs and let them ‘decorate’ plates with a few leaves.
A fun way to encourage creativity? Let them make a ‘design’ with sprinkles or herbs—kids love seeing their own touch on a finished meal!
9. Cleaning Up
Cleaning up is just as important as cooking, and kids love to help—if you make it fun!
Let them ‘wash’ plastic bowls in the sink with warm, soapy water.
Give them a small damp cloth to wipe their area.
Have a ‘clean-up countdown’—see how fast they can put utensils away!
A simple tip? Have them pick a ‘cleanup song’—when the song ends, their area should be clean!
10. Tasting & Talking About Food
This might be the most important lesson of all—teaching kids to enjoy food and describe what they taste. If you've been listening to me at all over the last few months, you might want to roll your eyes at this one.
"Ok, we get it. Enough already ... Yes, yes. TALK to your kids about the food they're eating. You sound like a broken record."
But hear me out. Talking to our kids about food is SUPER important for their comfort in actually trying new things. Plus, it builds their vocabulary. Win win. How can you do this? Start by downloading this free PDF with descriptive terms you can use at mealtime and then do this:
Ask open-ended questions: “What does this taste like? Is it sweet, salty, crunchy, soft?”
Encourage curiosity: “Does this remind you of something else you’ve eaten?”
Let them describe flavors without pressure—even if they don’t like something!
I don't have a very refined palette, but my kids do, and I like being able to encourage their curiosity and skills identifying tastes and flavors. So I'm often asking them to try to identify mystery ingredients I add to meals. It builds their capacity and makes them excited about new flavors instead of nervous!
That's it!
So there you have it—10 simple kitchen skills that toddlers and young kids can start learning today! It might get messy, it might take patience, but giving kids confidence in the kitchen is a gift that lasts a lifetime.
What kitchen skills have you taught your little ones? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear!
Dr. Kiyah Approved Kid-Safe Knives
There is really no right or wrong choice when it comes to getting your kids kitchen tools. These are some of my favorites, but a quick search on Amazon will returns dozens (hundreds?) of others. I like these for their simplicity, diversity of options (especially with the full set), and for some (Kiddi Kutter and Zlemma) their thoughtful design.
Is There a Best Time of Day to Introduce New Foods to Kids?
The Question
A mom at a recent feeding class asked a great question: Is there a best time of day to introduce new foods to my child?
Should you try in the morning, when they’re well-rested? At lunch, when they’re hungry? At dinner, when they see everyone else eating?
If you’ve wondered the same thing, you’re not alone.
The Short Answer
There’s no definitive research that there is one time of day is works best for all kids. But what does matter is how you introduce new foods.
The good news? There are research-backed strategies that can help make new foods less scary and more likely to be accepted.
Let’s break them down.
There isn't just ONE time of day that's best for introducing new foods.
5 Strategies for Introducing New Foods (No Matter the Time of Day)
Experts agree that kids’ eating habits are shaped by their experiences—what they see, what they taste, and how they feel about food over time.
Instead of fixating on the clock, focus on creating a positive and low-pressure environment for trying new foods. Here are five ways to do that.
1. Offer new foods when your child is calm, alert, and receptive.
One thing we do know: kids are more likely to try new things when they’re not exhausted, overwhelmed, or on the verge of a hunger-fueled meltdown.
Some kids eat better in the morning when they’re fresh, while others need time to warm up to food.
Hunger helps, but if they’re too hungry (read: cranky), they’re less likely to be open to trying something new.
Pay attention to your child’s rhythms—when are they naturally more curious and engaged?
2. Pair new foods with familiar favorites.
Ever notice how kids are more willing to try a new toy at a friend’s house if it’s in the middle of a pile of their favorite toys? The same concept applies to food.
Research shows kids are more willing to try something new when it’s served alongside something they already like.
If they love yogurt, mix in a new fruit. If they always eat pasta, add a veggie to the plate.
The goal is to make the unfamiliar food feel less intimidating.
3. Get them involved.
Kids love to have control—so why not use that to your advantage?
Kids who help prepare food are way more likely to try it.
Let them stir, scoop, or choose a new fruit or veggie at the store.
Giving them a little control can make all the difference.
4. Keep it fun and pressure-free.
When you've taken the time to prepare a meal, it’s tempting to pressure, coerce, or bribe your kids to eat. This response is understandable, but it's shortsighted.
Pressuring your kids can harm their long-term relationship with food. Instead of becoming independently driven, they may develop negative feelings about meals
If they want to poke, squish, or even lick the food before eating it—let them!
Explain what they are going to experience: “This carrot is crunchy like a cracker!”
Avoid pressure like “Just take one bite.” That can make kids less willing to try new things. Pressuring, coercing or bribing your kids to eat - even just one bite - can backfire. Resist the urge.
5. Describe the food instead of demanding they try it.
Imagine if you walked into your best friend's house and she shoved something unfamiliar towards your face: "You've GOT TO try this," she says. "You're going to love it." Imagine, then, that you asked for more information. "But, what is it? What does it taste like?"
If all she did was tell you "Don't worry. You're going to love it. Just try it. Here. Have a bite." Would you?
This is how your kids feel when we give them something they're not familiar with. And may be part of the reason they resist trying new things.
Instead of “Just taste it, it’s good for you,” try:
“This is crispy and a little sweet.”
“It tastes kind of like an apple but softer.”
This helps kids know what to expect—because let’s be honest, wouldn’t you want a little warning too?
Bonus Insights from the Research
Babies’ taste preferences start before birth! What moms eat during pregnancy and breastfeeding influences what flavors their baby is more likely to enjoy later.
The first several months of eating solids are a critical window for accepting different flavors and textures.
The more variety they get early on, the less picky they’re likely to be later.
So if your baby is still young, this is a great time to introduce a wide range of flavors—sweet, sour, bitter, crunchy, smooth.
The Takeaway
Instead of stressing about when to introduce a new food, focus on how.
✔ Offer it when they’re calm and receptive. ✔ Pair it with foods they already like. ✔ Get them involved. ✔ Keep it light and playful. ✔ Describe, don’t pressure.
And most importantly? Keep trying.
Kids need multiple exposures before they accept a new food, so don’t give up after one or two tries (or even 10!). You’ve got thousandsof meals ahead of you—plenty of chances to build a happy, healthy relationship with food.
You’re doing great!
The Purposeful Design of Our Mealtime Products
When kids feed themselves, get repeated exposures to new foods, and explore food with all of their senses, they learn to trust their own hunger signals and develop a positive, long-lasting relationship with food. My company designs products to do just this.
Why It Matters
Every meal is an opportunity. We’re all guilty of stepping in with our own ideas of “what’s best” when it comes to our kids’ plates. But here’s the gritty truth: when we control every bite, we rob our kids of their natural ability to gauge fullness. Studies show that kids who feed themselves are less likely to overeat and become picky eaters. Think about it—if we let them do a bit of the heavy lifting (or spoon lifting, in this case), they learn to trust their own signals. In our hectic lives, every small win matters.
In the Beginning
Last week I had the privilege of chatting on WDBJ7 with Kimberly McBroom about something that’s near and dear to my heart: helping our kids become healthy, confident, and downright adventurous eaters. At Kizingo, we built our company on a simple idea— create mealtime products that actually encourage the kinds of behaviors nutrition science suggests are associated with life-long healthy eating habits.
Parenting is hard. Mealtime shouldn't be.
{PS - if you do try one of our products, enter DESIGN15 at checkout for 15% off your first order}
Letting Kids Feed Themselves
There’s plenty of evidence that when kids take control of feeding themselves—when they are transitioning out of breast and bottle feeding into their first solid foods—they develop better eating habits.
Kids who can successfully self-feed are less likely to overeat and less likely to become picky eaters. Why? Two reasons:
Try as we might, we are terrible at reading our kids signals of fullness. So when we feed them directly, we can end up over feeding. Over time, this means they start listening to us rather than their innate, internal signals of hunger and fullness.
Kids - especially toddlers - want to do things themselves! They want to tie their shoes and pour their milk and zip their coat. Even if it takes hours to accomplish. When we make all the mealtime decisions for them, they start to exert their independence in the only way they can: by letting you know what they will and will not eat. Hello picky eating.
So what's the solution? At Kizingo, we designed ergonomic spoons specifically for the way kids hold and use utensil so they can be more successful self-feeding. Do you need our spoons? Of course not. But using them can help your little one master the art of self-feeding a little more quickly.
Our ergonomic spoons are specifically designed to face a child, so that self-feeding is easier and more successful.
Ever tried to get your kid to eat broccoli and thought, “That was a total flop”?
Research tells us it can take about 15 exposures before a new food wins their heart—or even their taste buds. And let’s be honest, keeping track of that is no picnic. That’s why we built our plates and bowls with a little “nudge” space. It’s a visual reminder for you to offer that small taste of something new. It’s not about forcing them or serving them a mountain of broccoli all at once; it’s about persistence and building familiarity over time.
The Nudge plates and bowls encourage parents and kids to regularly try small bits of something new.
Embrace the Mess: Exploring Food With All 5 Senses
Let’s get real—mealtime with kids is messy. But that mess is where the magic happens. When kids get their hands on food, they’re not just eating; they’re learning. They’re discovering textures, sounds, and even smells and, importantly, integrating that information and making new neural paths.
Sometimes you might end up with more food on the floor than on their plates, but that’s a small price to pay for sensory exploration and deep learning. But don't feel like you have to do this every meal. Choose a meal or snack when you have the time and energy to let it be a little longer and a little messier.
How can you help this exploration? Ask them what a crunchy carrot sounds like or how an avocado slice feels. If your kids are not yet talking, narrate this experience for them (rather than expecting them to give you words for their experience). Not sure where to begin? This list of descriptive terms for mealtime can help.
Our long sleeve bibs aren’t just about keeping clothes clean; they’re a nod to the power of letting kids explore food with all their senses.
Imagine this: if you fed your kid three meals a day from the moment they turned six months old until they hit 18, you’d be cooking up 18,690 meals. That’s a lot of chances to shape their relationship with food.
It’s not about making the perfect dinner every single night—it’s about the cumulative impact of those small, everyday interactions. Each meal is a chance to build trust, celebrate the little victories (like using a fork the right way or sitting down a minute longer), and create a lasting, positive connection with food.
Remember - enter DESIGN15 at checkout for 15% off your first order
