We are so quick to judge ourselves: What we ate. What we fed our kids. How we parented in the middle of that meltdown at Target.

But here’s the thing: judgment shuts the door. Curiosity cracks it back open.

Why It Matters

When we lead with judgment, our world gets small. We get stuck in guilt or frustration—whether about our parenting, our relationships, or our eating habits.

When we lead with curiosity, we make space. Space to understand, to try again, to see what might be going on underneath.

And that shift—tiny as it sounds—can completely change how we parent, how we eat, and how we talk to each other.

Let’s Talk About Parenting

Judgment sounds like:

“My kid is so picky. I must have done something wrong.”

Curiosity sounds like:

“I wonder what makes them say no to broccoli but yes to green beans?”

It’s a subtle difference, but it changes everything.

Judgment puts you and your child on opposite teams. Curiosity puts you together on the same side, trying to figure something out.

If you’ve followed my work on picky eating, you know that why kids eat—or don’t eat—certain foods is complicated. Sometimes it’s texture. Sometimes it’s timing. Sometimes it’s that they’re just tired. Curiosity helps you investigate those “whys” instead of assuming the problem is you—or them.

When I talk about responsive feeding, this is what I mean in practice. You notice. You ask. You stay open. And that openness builds trust at the table.

Let’s Talk About Co-Parenting

Judgment says:

“We can’t communicate. This is hopeless.”

Curiosity says:

“What part of our routine feels hardest for them? Is there a pattern in when things fall apart?”

This isn’t about excusing bad behavior or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about understanding the system you’re in so you can make intentional changes.

When I spoke with a marriage counselor recently on The Weekly Parent podcast, she pointed out that curiosity is one of the most underused tools in communication. We think we’re listening, but often we’re just waiting to defend ourselves. When we get curious—really curious—we stop trying to win, and we start trying to understand.

Let’s Talk About Food (and Ourselves)

If you've been following me for a while, you'll know that this one hits close to home.

Judgment says:

“I was so bad today. I had dessert again.”

Curiosity says:

“What was I craving? Was I actually hungry? Stressed? Tired? Looking for comfort?”

That’s mindful eating in real life—not lighting candles or eating in silence, but noticing without shame.

In my earlier post about Examining Your Food Past, I talked about how our histories shape our choices. Curiosity lets you see those patterns clearly without beating yourself up for them. It’s the difference between “I shouldn’t eat this” and “I wonder why I want this.”

And when you understand the why, you can make choices that align with your values—whether that’s eating the cookie because it’s your grandma’s recipe, or skipping it because you know you’re just stressed and need a walk instead.

The Practical Side

Here’s how to make curiosity your go-to response:

1. Catch the judgment early.
   When you hear that inner voice say, “You always…” or “You should have…”, stop. Label it as judgment.
2. Rephrase it as a question.
   “Why did I respond that way?” or “What was I needing in that moment?”
3. Look for data, not drama.
   Notice patterns: Is this a certain time of day? Does it happen when you’re hungry, tired, or stretched thin?
4. Get external perspective.
   Curiosity doesn’t mean figuring it all out alone. Ask your partner, a friend, or your child for their view. It’s often eye-opening.
5. Repeat.
   This is a practice, not a one-time fix. But over time, curiosity becomes your default—and judgment starts to fade.

What Happens When You Choose Curiosity

You parent with more patience.
You eat with more awareness.
You communicate with less defensiveness.

And maybe most importantly, you start to like yourself a little more.

Because curiosity isn’t about fixing—it’s about understanding. And understanding is what moves us forward.

Try This Week

Pick one area—parenting, partnership, or food—and pay attention to your judgments. Catch one, turn it into a question, and see what shifts.

You might be surprised by what opens up when you stop judging and start wondering.

I was watching my kids in the kitchen the other night—one chopping vegetables, one setting the table, and one sneaking cheese—and it reminded me: these aren’t just chores. They’re opportunities for learning.

Why It Matters

Science shows us that kids learn best by doing. That’s true with math and reading, and it’s true with food.

• Cooking together matters. Kids who help prepare meals eat more fruits and vegetables and are more willing to try new foods. One Canadian study of 3,000 children found those who regularly cooked at home made healthier food choices even when they weren’t at home.
• Gardening makes a difference. School garden programs have been shown to increase daily fruit and vegetable intake by up to one serving per day. Kids who garden are also more likely to taste unfamiliar foods.
• Family meals protect kids. Dozens of studies link family meals with better mental health, improved academic outcomes, and lower risk of disordered eating. What matters most is not what’s on the table, but that kids feel included in the process.

When kids are invited to cook, grow, and experiment with food, they’re not just learning skills. They’re building confidence, curiosity, and a healthier relationship with eating.

Four Simple Ways to Get Started

Grow It

Plant something together—basil in a pot, lettuce in a windowsill, or green onions regrown from scraps. Watching food grow sparks curiosity and makes kids more likely to eat it.

Cook It

Choose a simple meal like tacos or breakfast-for-dinner and assign kid-friendly jobs: washing produce, tearing lettuce, stirring, or sprinkling toppings. Even small tasks build cooking confidence.

Experiment With It

Do the celery experiment: place celery in colored water and watch it “drink.” Pair it with a celery-and-dip snack. This simple science activity shows kids how plants work while making food fun.

Celebrate It

Cook a family or cultural recipe together. Share stories about where the recipe came from and why it matters. Food is more than nutrients—it’s memory, connection, and tradition.

The Bottom Line

Kids don’t need more lectures about eating healthy. They need experiences.

Every time they plant, stir, taste, or experiment, they’re building a foundation for healthy eating and a deeper connection to food. And you don’t need hours—15 minutes a week is enough to start.

Not sure where to start? I’ve put together a one-month food learning calendar with one hands-on activity per week. It’s simple, fun, and designed to fit into busy family life. Download it here.

Food policy usually feels like background noise, until it lands in your grocery cart. The new “Make Our Children Healthy Again” plan is the latest example of promises that look bold on paper but leave families stuck juggling the same messy realities.

Why It Matters

Sometimes food policies work their way out of Washington - or your state capital - and right into your grocery cart. The “Make Our Children Healthy Again” strategy, leaked last week as the Trump administration’s response to the Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) report published in February, is one of those times.

On paper, it sounds bold: tackling ultra-processed foods, protecting kids from chemical exposures, addressing childhood obesity. Issues that researchers and policy advocates have been saying for decades.

But once you dig in, what you actually find is shaky science, half-baked solutions, and proposals that add stress for parents without solving the real, underlying problems.

What’s in the MAHA Report

The original MAHA report highlighted legitimate concerns:

• Rising rates of obesity and chronic disease in kids.
• The ubiquity of processed snacks compared to fruits and veggies.
• Questions about the role of food dyes, additives, and potential hormone disruptors in children’s health.

No one’s arguing with those concerns. They’re real, and they’re worth addressing.

The trouble comes with the draft strategy that followed. Instead of focusing on root problems, things like the lack of affordable, nutritious food and access to reliable, high-quality healthcare, the plan leans on surface-level moves:

• New food label requirements (with little clarity on what those labels would actually mean).
• A push for more whole milk in schools, without addressing the broader quality of meal programs.
• A suggestion to “explore” guidelines on marketing junk food to kids; something that’s already been tried, and failed.
• A heavy dose of vague “encouragement” for healthier eating.

Encouragement might work on a motivational poster, but it doesn’t stretch the grocery budget or get a toddler to eat the broccoli wilting in the fridge.

And to make matters worse, independent reviews have flagged fabricated citations and questionable claims in the original MAHA report. Mistakes are one thing. Misunderstanding the science is bad enough. But making it up? That’s a deal-breaker.

SNAP Restrictions: Whose Choice Is It Anyway?

One of the most controversial parts of the MAHA draft is a proposed restriction on SNAP (food assistance) benefits. Families would no longer be able to buy soda or certain ultra-processed snacks starting in 2026.

On the surface, this might sound like a win for kids’ health. But here’s the reality:

• Families are already stretching $150–$200 in benefits to feed a household for a week. Cutting soda and chips from the list doesn’t magically make chicken or fresh produce more affordable. It just means fewer choices with the same limited dollars.
• In many neighborhoods, fresh food isn’t easily available (or maybe not available to some at all). You can ban soda, but that doesn’t suddenly put a grocery store in the middle of a food desert.

These kinds of restrictions shift the blame back onto parents (framing hunger and nutrition as the result of “bad choices”) instead of tackling the broken systems that make healthy food inaccessible and expensive in the first place.

The Grocery Store Shift

Whenever government attention swings toward nutrition, the food industry responds: new labels appear, products get reformulated, and marketing these changes ramps up. (Although, sometimes, those reformulations fly quietly under the radar.)

But here’s the reality: none of that lowers the price of strawberries in February. None of it makes dinner any easier at 6 p.m. when kids are hungry and parents are exhausted.

Industry shifts might look like progress, but they usually create more confusion than clarity. Parents still end up standing in the aisle wondering if they’re making the “right” choice, while the larger, more systemic issues of affordability and access go undiscussed and untouched.

What Parents Can Actually Do

So where does that leave us?

First, know what’s worth advocating for. Local initiatives, things like stronger school meal programs, community gardens, food co-ops, food pantries, and subsidies at farmers’ markets, actually put nutritious foods within reach. These efforts matter more than top-down policies that tell families what not to buy.

And when leaders roll out plans like MAHA, push back. Families need support and access, not punishment and restrictions.

Second, don’t internalize this as a reflection of you.

These policies are not a judgment of whether you’re a “good” parent. Your family’s eating patterns are shaped by forces much bigger than personal willpower—time, money, access. No motivational slogan or new food label changes that.

Feeding kids is already one of the hardest parts of parenting. Don’t let political soundbites or shaky science pile more guilt on your plate.

The Bottom Line

The MAHA plan may make headlines, but it doesn’t fix the everyday challenge of feeding real families. Parents don’t need more judgment. We don’t need labels that confuse us or restrictions that make checkout harder.

What we need is affordable food, reliable information, and the freedom to make choices that align with our values and realities.

Until policy catches up, the best we can do is focus on what we can actually control:

• Building balanced meals when we can.
• Letting go of guilt when we can’t.
• And remembering that no government report decides whether we’re doing a good job feeding our kids.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not Washington’s rules that matter. It’s the small, everyday choices you make at home that add up to a healthier relationship with food for you and your family.

If your once “good eater” suddenly turns into a toddler who survives on chips and refuses even pizza, you’re not alone — and you’re not doing anything wrong.

Why It Matters

Picky eating in toddlers is normal, but it can still be frustrating and stressful for parents — especially if your family’s mealtime setup is changing. Understanding why kids resist new foods (and what actually works to help them expand their palate) can turn mealtimes from battlegrounds into opportunities for slow, steady progress.

From Baby Food Lover to Toddler Food Refuser

A parent on Reddit recently shared that their 2-year-old, once a pretty adventurous eater, now refuses most new foods — even pizza. For the past couple of years, they couldn’t eat together as a family due to space and schedules, so they made separate meals for him. Now that they’re moving into a home where they can sit at the table together, they’re hoping family meals will help. But for now, on outings, the toddler mostly eats… chips.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. And the good news is, you can help your toddler learn to try (and maybe even enjoy) new foods — but it’s going to take patience, persistence, and a few strategy tweaks.

1. Remember: Repeated Exposure Works

Kids don’t decide to like a food after one bite — or even five. Research shows it can take a dozen or more exposures for a child to feel comfortable enough to eat something new. That’s dozens of times seeing it on their plate, maybe touching it, smelling it, or licking it… before they actually eat it.

The key: keep offering, without expectation.

2. Drop the Pressure

“Just one bite” sounds reasonable to adults, but for toddlers it often backfires. Pressure can turn mealtime into a power struggle, making the food even less appealing. Instead, present the food matter-of-factly — it’s there, it’s part of the meal, and it’s totally up to them whether they eat it.

3. Come to the Table Hungry

If your toddler’s been snacking all afternoon, they’re not going to feel adventurous at dinner. Space snacks so they arrive at the table ready to eat. Hunger won’t guarantee they’ll try the broccoli, but it makes them more likely to give it a chance.

4. Always Serve a “Safe Food”

Every meal should include at least one food you know your child will eat — bread, fruit, cheese, whatever it may be. Of course, it's also okay that you limit the portion so they don’t fill up only on that item, but having it there makes your kids feel safe and it build trust. Avoid serving a plate where every single thing is unfamiliar because most kids find that overwhelming.

5. Try New Foods Outside Mealtime

Sometimes the dinner table feels like the highest-pressure place to try new foods. So take the pressure off. Offer a bite of something new while you’re cooking, make it part of a snack plate, or serve it at a picnic. Novelty plus low pressure can be magic.

6. Lean Into the Family Meal Reset

One of the best things you can do is eat together, as a family, as often as possible. When toddlers see parents and siblings eating a variety of foods, it normalizes the behavior. They start to think, “Oh, I get it. This is just what we do - we eat lots of different things.” Even if they don’t try the new thing right away, you’re planting seeds for the future.

Family meals are also a great opportunity for modeling - especially the behaviors you want your kids to have. Like not bringing phones to the table, using a knife to cut food, or trying something that is new and you're unsure about! You don't have to make a big deal about it, but show that you're willing.

7. Understand the “Why” Behind Picky Eating

Between ages 2 and 6, kids go through a developmental stage called food neophobia — a fancy word for “fear of new foods.” It's developmentally appropriate, and completely normal!

It’s also an evolutionary safety mechanism that made sense when our ancestors foraged for food (probably prevented a few toddler ancestors from eating poisonous berries), but now it just means your kid turns up their nose at perfectly good roasted carrots.

The key is knowing this phase is normal, and it will pass — especially if you keep the pressure low and the exposure high.

8. Make Small, Low-Stakes Changes

If your toddler refuses carrots, try them raw instead of cooked. Serve apple rings instead of wedges. Offer the same food in different shapes, seasonings, or colors. Sometimes, the difference between “no way” and “sure, I’ll try” is as simple as cutting it differently.

9. Involve Them in the Process

Let your child help choose a vegetable at the store, stir something in the bowl, or sprinkle cheese on top. The more invested they are in the meal, the more likely they are to try what’s on the table.

Bottom line: This is a long game. Your goal isn’t to “fix” picky eating overnight — it’s to build a foundation of trust and familiarity with food. Keep showing up with patience, consistency, and a seat at the table, and you’ll see progress over time.

Can't watch right now? Just listen!

Full Transcript

00:00  This week, let's talk about a situation that I see all the time. In fact, I recently saw this posted on Reddit. A parent wrote about how their, about their 2-year-old. But as a baby, he ate pretty well. He was willing to try new things, an adventurous eater. But as he's gotten older, he's about two and a half, he started refusing new foods. And so the parent was asking, what do I do? How can I help him enjoy more foods?

00:30   Now, this family wasn't regularly eating dinner together in part because of their schedule, which also meant that they were making a specific meal for their toddler. And in part because they didn't have a space to sit down together as a family, but they've just moved into a new house and for the first time they can actually sit down together and eat as a family. And this parent was writing, I'm really hoping that this will help him, that eating with the family, this eating as a family, again will stall if not reverse his picky eating. And so the parent was asking, what do I do? First of all,

01:05  What I have said in the past, what feels like I've said a million times in the past, if that sounds familiar to you, you are not alone and you're not doing anything wrong. Picky eating, especially that which occurs between the ages of two and six is completely normal. There's even a name for it. Food, neo phobia, food. Neo phobia is the tendency to reject or be reluctant to try new or unfamiliar foods. And as I said, it is natural and developmentally appropriate. In fact, a recent review article published in 2023 analyzed thousands of articles on food feeding, child eating food. Neo phobia found that between 14 and 44% of the populations examined exhibited some degree of neo phobia. It's normal. And if you think about it, um, there is probably some evolutionary benefit to being young and afraid to try new things. It probably saved our toddler ancestors, ancestor toddlers, from putting berries, poisonous berries in their mouths. Unfortunately. Now it means that your kid won't eat roasted carrots.

02:14   But here's the thing, you can help your child get more comfortable with new foods. There is a lot that we know about this and a lot that we can do. The fixes are relatively easy if you just look at them on the surface, but they will not happen quickly and they will not fix this problem of food, neo phobia or picky eating overnight. But with the right strategies, I promise you can make progress. So let's break them down. There are eight of them. Number one, repeated exposure is everything. You cannot, I mean, cannot offer a food one time and expect your child to decide if they like it. I mean, you can even expect to offer me something that's brand new and have me necessarily decide if I like it or not. And I have a lot of practice eating. Research tells us, and I've said this over and over again, it can take dozens of exposures for a child to try something before they decide if they like it.

03:10   That's dozens of times seeing it. That doesn't mean dozens of times eating a whole pile of it included in seeing it is touching it, smelling it, yes, maybe even licking it before they actually eat it. So your job is to keep showing up and keep putting that food on the table over and over, even if they ignore it, even if they push it away, even if they reject it outright, keep putting it on the table. Okay, number two, do this without pressuring. This one is just as big coercing, bribing, requiring just one bite. It may seem harmless to us, but to a toddler, it is pressure. And when we put pressure like that, it often backfires. The goal is to make new foods be a part of the scenery. It's there. You might notice it if you happen to pause and look around. You might even enjoy it occasionally, but you're not being pressured to stare at it.

04:05   Pick a food, serve it, let it sit there and let your child decide whether or not he or she will eat it. The key to this is that is how you build trust because when they know that you're not going to push them, they're actually more likely to uh, explore that food on their own. Okay, number three, hunger helps. So if your toddler has had a snack 30 minutes before dinner, they're unlikely to be curious about your new vegetable side dish, no matter how long it took you to make it. Spacing snacks so that your kids arrive at the table actually hungry will help. Now, that doesn't guarantee that they're going to taste the broccoli, but it definitely makes it more likely that they will say yes to trying something new or sort of familiar. Number four, we said this before, always serve a safe food.

04:52   Every meal, especially when you have a child reluctant to try new foods, should have at least one meal that you know your child will reliably eat. Maybe it's fruit, maybe it's bread, maybe it's that one cheese that they're obsessed with right now. The point is, having a safe food makes the meal feel comfortable. Now that doesn't mean you serve piles of that. You can control how much you actually put out. So they don't fill up entirely on that safe food. But providing a safe food sends a very clear message. There is always something for you here at the table. Okay, strategy number five, try new foods outside of mealtimes. Sometimes dinner, it's just too much. It's too much pressure. So think outside the box. Offer a bite of something new while you're cooking. Make it a part of a snack plate. Serve it at a picnic or while they're playing, when it's low stakes and unexpected, kids can surprise you in how they respond.

05:48  And I'll tell you, this has been the case even for my 12-year-old. She doesn't really like tomatoes. She never really has something about the texture, just doesn't fit with her. But I was making a side dish using cherry tomatoes recently. She wanted to help cut them. I said, sure, come on in. And as she did out of the corner of my eye, I saw her and she popped a little piece of one into her mouth and she didn't spit it out. Now, she didn't choose to eat the side dish later, but she did try the tomato. And I'll tell you, I took the win. And actually that reminds me quick little side note here. When this happens, when your kid tries the thing that you have been working so hard to get them to try or the thing that you've never seen them try before, I have found it's also really helpful.

06:37   As much as you might want to not to react as much as you might feel like cheering or praising them, in my experience, that also tends to backfire. So play it. Super cool. Okay, number six, lean into the family meal reset. So for the the um, Reddit poster in particular, this is where their new setup, having a space where they can all sit together really works in their favor. Eating together as a family or just with others, it's a really powerful motivator of behavior. For one thing, when your child sees you or siblings, or guests eating a variety of food, it normalizes that behavior and they start to think, oh, that's just what we do. We eat lots of different things. Even if they don't try the new thing right away or after the fifth time, you are planting the seed. And family meals really are one of the best investments you can make in raising a confident, flexible eater.

07:39   But you don't have to move into a new space in order to take advantage of a family meal reset. This can come in lots of different forms and it can be quite small. It doesn't have to again, be a massive move. Even just committing to having one additional meal together that counts as resetting. Even smaller behaviors that can signal a mindset shift. Put out cloth napkins, um, change where you eat, like take dinner out on a picnic or turn on music. All of these are subtle signals. Okay, number seven, make small, low stakes changes. So if carrots are a no, go right now, try them raw instead of cooked or roasted instead of steamed, cut apples into rings instead of wedges. Use a little cookie cutter to make a shape out of your cucumbers. Sometimes the difference between no way and yeah, okay, I'll try is as simple as changing the shape or texture. Alright, number eight. I have also talked about this before. Involve your kids in the mealtime process. Let them choose a vegetable at the store to bring home. Let them stir something in the bowl. Let them sprinkle cheese on top. Let them plan an entire meal. The more involved they are, the more invested they feel. And sometimes that investment makes it more likely that they will taste what they've made or been a part of choosing. Sometimes simply having more exposure under lower pressure makes them more likely to taste.

09:08   Bottom line folks, this is a long game. You're not trying to fix picky eating in a week. You can't, you're trying to build familiarity, trust, and curiosity about food. And that takes months, maybe even years. So keep showing up, keep it low pressure, and keep making room at the table for both the foods they love and the ones that they haven't yet learned to love. Because every exposure counts. Thanks for being here. I'll see you next time.